Ersatz Low Men and Other Jokes (Part 3)...

Chiana

"And why the Hezmana is Inquirer, of all people, so hot in wanting to knock about this mummy and it's minions?" I ask Sigin, at a loss. "What with us playing 'Low Men' or some dren like that?"

Sigin frowned a little bit, as if trying to figure out the best and easiest way to put it. He then nods, falling upon something that might work

"Remember how you felt right after the Company people tried to use your brother as leverage with us?" he asks me softly. "How you still feel about them?"

If I wasn't grey, I know I'd be flushing red as I feel my blood boil as I remember! And then....

"She hates undead, generally, for similar reasons," Sigin continues on, seeing I remember how I felt (and still hate those frelling BASTARDS). "The undead, generally, are monsters very much like those high up within the Company. Willing to take what they want without any moral qualms. That's...."

"That's why she wanted to play the part of a 'Low Man'," I say slowly, seeing.

Low Men, in those stories by King, tended to be amongst other things, the "muscle" amongst the Demon's like Randall Flag and friends. That's the easiest way to put it. Looking human except (at times) for glowing red eyes (like Inquirer can assume when she switches on her "thermal" sight) and a panache for chain smoking, Inquirer wanted us all to use those creature's reputation to perhaps intimidate our way out past the lair of this mummy mage. Being that this mummy mage, our "guest's" master, has the same bad habits of just taking what he wants without regards to what it'll cost others.....

Yes, I can see why Inquirer wasn't above scaring them grotless! She's sick and tired of death from her time in that Alliance/Enemy war, but she's not above a bit of intimidation with that kind of dren!

Let us just say that with only a few exceptions, her feelings on this matter hadn't improved much at all ever since having rescued a young woman named Alicia a few cycles . . . years ago from vampires (re: 2505).

That said, if there wasn't any doubt that this realm was aware of the Dark Tower (and all the legends surrounding it), I and the others would have been happy to have impersonated "Low Men" (the flunkies of the baddies....about time they did something for us for a change).

But instead, we're doing this...

Not as satisifying, really....if it works....

Later....

"....and since you need the female's dead heart for you're plans," I finish up, purring as I gloat at this wrinkled thing before me (all the while aware of the growing outrage of his subjects at his side). "You're not going anywhere. So you might as frelling well let us go. Save resources on some other schemes and all that. Be smart, eh?"

The female in question is the elfin woman we've named (for some reason) Artizza 1, and being that even if you slam a dagger through her heart, her kind don't die (re: 25187). The guy is a mage and should know "Dark Elves" are like that AND if THAT fact doesn't convince "prune face" (as Inquirer called this character in passing), then....

"KilLLL THEEEM!!" the monster screams, enraged past reasoning.

Frell!

Much later...

"Burn you bastard," I pant, shifting back to human form as I watch Imhotep's form pop and crackle, burning merrily after I'd breathed fire on him (much to his shock)!

God! What a frelling mess.

"Well plan A didn't work for shit," Inquirer sighs, looking at the pile of sleeping "flunkies" laying all around her.

Ah, that's right. She'll only kill other living beings if there was no other choice. Had no qualms on "fragging" those Living Mummies with spell and plasma weapons, but....

She then looks back at me, over at some other unconscious forms who'd I'd laid into with my weapon (a plasma rifle I'd....er....borrowed from up on Moya before I and the others left her).

She has a questioning look on her face.

"Yours has a 'stun' setting?" she finally manages. Elrondir has a similar questioning look on his face.

"Well, of course!" I say. "Why not?"

"Oh Creator," Elrondir mutters. "The Military scientists are going to scream when they hear about this one!"

Later, I'll find out that Military plasma weaponry, while incredibly quiet (how I don't know, but it's that way), only have one setting. Kill.

But that's later.

"Hey," B'Elanna cuts in, before we can stay around any longer and 'chew the fat' as Betty once said. "Let's get the hell out of here before either these tribble loving p'taks wake up OR any 'Dragon of the Southern Caverns' shows up!"

Ah, drad idea! Sigin did mention that my and his draconian presence would sooner or later trip some kind of magical alarms within that other dragon's lair and when that happened, all Hezmana was going to break loose! And if we did manage to defeat that berserk dragon in battle (dragons are very territorial and our uninvited presence would have driven him into a frenzy). . . . then if we were too long on this planet there was a chance that this world's version of the "Council of Wyrms" (the leaders of the Dragon Nation) might eventually get involved. If they were evil, then we were frelled. Frelled because that council was full of old wyrms....with a lot of magical might and....

You get the idea.

But when we finally (after backtracking through the very heart of the mummy's lair we had to retreat from as we had that running battle) get to the surface, we find out that we needn't worry about that dragon. It had a rather terminal encounter in rout back from burning some farms in the form of some rather twitchy Roughnecks....

And we are soon escorted to their leader by one Private "Johnny" Rico, who's trying to calm down a rather heated argument between a rough looking older man (the captain of the downed ship, I'll find out later) and another guy named Avon

And another Golem like Inquirer (if the glowing gem in the forehead is any clue), it looking on, grimly? "You had no damn right looking through my luggage like that!" Avon nearly screams. "Well, if maybe if you'd been more damn careful, Ker Avon, back on Earth you'd not need that 'boost' of Shadow," the captain sneers back. "You DO still have enemies, you know, who're laughing after having slipped you that....death sentence."

Later I'll find out that the reason why Avon had hired a ship to that resort planet he'd been going to was to....connect with suppliers, really. To feed a habit that would eventually.....kill him. And nothing in HIS universe could save him from that death, eventually. It was just a slow....wait.

In his universe, but....?

Also, I'll learn that the captain is not more sympathetic to Avon for one simple reason. While he'd gone on, after discovering the lie, to forgive a guy named "Blake" for what had happened to his son (it had been one big government cover up, that, to discredit Blake)...had even gotten revenge on that one dark haired woman in the end for it (and taken her ship as an added bonus....the one that had crashed here on this world, really). Well, hard feelings still lingered, not helped at all by Avon's attitude.

Especially since that "hit" was what Avon needed to get him....back. He'd been fading from withdrawal....and would have died if...

Ah, but you've already got the idea, eh?

"What?!" both Betty and Ragan shout, meanwhile, upset at what they have overheard....

At least we don't have the Dark Elves out right now (they'd agreed to be changed back into components soon after the battle, for easier travel)....

1. "QUIET!" shouts the Roughneck officer, finally tired of it all.

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