| Betty
The scene on the communications screen is horrifying. The Sevateem are
being slaughtered: by an army of Tesh, by invisible phantoms (it crosses
my mind to wonder how Xoanon is able to project them into the village,
but it seems rather pointless to dwell on that), and, perhaps worst of
all, by each other, as Xoanon takes possession of their minds. Even as
I watch, I see one man take a crossbow bolt through the back and go tumbling
into a pit of horda. I have to look away.
"I'm going to help them!" Leela says resolutely, and heads off in the
direction of the antigravity transporter.
I experience a terrible moment of uncertainty and indecision. I know
Leela, not just from this brief acquaintance, but from my TV screen, and
I know that nothing is going to stop her from going to her people's aid
at this moment, even if there's very little she can actually do. And if
I were a real TV-type hero, I'd be charging off to help her, wouldn't I?
But, even if I am supposed to be a hero-type these days, I'm not
a fighter. I've never been able to deal very well with violence, and I'm
afraid that hasn't suddenly changed very much, just because I now have
magic at my command. And, dear god, I honestly don't know if I could deal
with the things I'm seeing on this screen...
"Someone has to go with her," says my "sister," echoing my own thoughts
in that strange way that always seems like it should be disturbing,
but somehow isn't. She sounds kind of scared and uncertain, too. Of course.
I look around at the others... Inquirer, too, seems conflicted, at least
a little. Understandable, of course. Inquirer -- unlike me -- is hardly
one to shy away from a fight, but I know there's no way she's going to
leave the Doctor right now, and I don't blame her. I'm worried about him,
too. Despite Sigin's reassurances about it being entirely possible to heal
damaged minds, if it comes to that, I can't help but find the thought of
him exposing himself to the poor machine's insanity extremely distressing.
And I have the distinct suspicion that the whole exercise is going to be
much
more difficult for him that it was/would have been for the fourth Doctor.
Of course, Inquirer is probably concerned for him in a... slightly different
way than I am. I'm still not entirely sure what to make of that
relationship, but, like my own (considerably different) relationship with
my "twin," it's one of those things that should seem utterly strange
but somehow... doesn't.
I realize that my mind is rambling, probably as some sort of defense
mechanism to keep my thoughts off those awful images, or possibly off my
own apparent cowardice. I yank my attention back to the here and now just
as B'Elanna is saying "I'll go." That makes me feel a little better. The
two of them can handle a battle, surely, and will doubtless be far more
useful than I would.
Gilmuriel and E'eysha look for a moment as if they're thinking of following
her, too, but the Doctor steps forward and restrains them with a hand on
each of their arms. Gently, he points out that this is an obvious tactic
by Xoanon to distract us from the task at hand, and that, if we succeed
here, the Sevateem will be safe, and if we don't, none of it will matter.
He's right, of course. Except for that "we" part, really. It's all pretty
much down to him, and we all know it. But he definitely ought to have all
the backup he can get.
-
 "Come
on," he says at last. "I believe I have everything I need. Let's put an
end to this."
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