Take it up with the Borg!

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 44562

Andrea 2a

Over the PA system the Vogon captain makes the announcement to (the as of yet to be located hitchhikers) that Cuthbert remembered in the book. Yes, in the book it had been made before the jump to hyperspace, vice after, but can't have everything, eh? As it is, it's spot on exactly like what had been said in the book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. I find that out later.

With all due credit now given, here's what the captain said: "This is your captain speaking, so stop whatever you're doing and pay attention. First of all I see from our instruments that we have a couple of hitchhiker's aboard."

"Rather more than a couple," mutters Cuthbert, fingering his weapon. "But why quibble?"

"Hello," the captain continues on over the PA system, unaware of the quibble, "wherever you are. I just want to make it totally clear that you are not at all weclome. I worked hard to get where I am today, and I didn't become captain of a Vogon constructor ship . . ."

"Which has become obsolete as well as hyperspatial express routes because of the Heart of Gold," Cuthbert added, smiling a little bit. "Meaning that you'll probably get fired here in a bit if she is recovered soon enough . . . breaks my heart."

Arthur and Ford look like they want to ask a question or two on that, but the captain is still speaking, but frankly from listening I pretty much can get that this git isn't a very good host at all! That said, I have some questions and I don't feel like waiting.

"'So long and thanks for all the fish' was really something that Arthur over there kept saying?" I ask softly, perplexed. "That makes no sense at all!"

Cutbhert gives off a short bark of laughter and then stiffles it, shaking his head.

"No," he says softly, explaining. "That wasn't what I'd said he had said repeatedly. Besides the catchy phrases like 'I don't understand.' and 'Where's the tea?' was the question 'What?'"

Hm, how odd. Then again, the man seems to be totally at sea right now. Understandable, considering that he believes that his world got plastered, right?

"What?" Arthur blinks. "You cannot be serious! I . . . nevermind! What's this nonsense about fish?!"

"It's what the dolphins said right before leaving Earth," the gunslinger explains softly, gesturing him be quiet.

"Oh, of course," Ford sighs, placing a comforting hand on Arthur's shoulder. "Fear that they'd left right before the Vogon destroyed Earth. Like why I'd rescued you from Earth, Arthur."

"What?" Arthur blinks, surprised.

You mean he didn't know, yet?

...

"Actually," Cuthbert sighs, being a little pedantic himself. "It was right around the time between the time the 'orignal' Earth got blown up and the time the dolphins somehow replaced it with some parallel version of her, without even the natives (or the Vogon) being the wiser. It's still there, the Earth."

"What!?" both Ford and Arthur shout, both surprised and stunned for various reason. Ford for the utterly (even for this reality up to this time) ridiculousness of the statement Cuthbert just made. Arthur . . . just being Arthur I fear. . .

My fox ears perk up as I hear a rush of steel toed boots hurrying to where we are holed away.

"Resistence is . . . .er . . . ?" the Vogon crewmember begins, only to run out of steam when he finds so many guns (including Cuthbert's) aimed right at his face.

"Futile?" Joan asks mockingly, her phasor at the ready.

"Think he was going to say 'useless', love." Cuthbert smiles, still training HIS weapon at the flustered Vogon.

"'Resistence if futile' . . . hey!" the Vogon suddenly says, blinking. "I like that! Use that and I'll surely make Shouting Officer easily!! Mind if I use it?"

"Take it up with the Borg!" Cuthbert barks, now all business (deadly business). "Later!

  1. "First, you shall 'take us to your leader' as you aliens are in the wont of saying!" Artizza orders. "That or a wall com unit. Whichever is more handy!"

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8/18/2004 10:03:19 AM

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