88281: Possible plot hole

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Anableps
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88281: Possible plot hole

Post by Anableps »

This episode has been in draft form for a while, and there may be errors. (I originally called the "Water Tower" the "Nautilus Tower" for example, and had to clean that up.)

There is at least one point that I have thought about, and that is whether using one sentry at a post is realistic. I like the device because it allows Olivia to be alone in her own thoughts to start the episode, and is a good way of showing how Linda acts one way around Olivia, but in another way around Diana. The best explantations that I could think about as to why there would not be two or more sentries at a post would be that such a disposition might draw attention to itself if it were unusual, and that if there are two guards, they might be tempted to chat amongst themselves and ignore their surroundings.

Any thoughts are welcome, as it give me a chance to revise this episode before I make life difficult for a few characters in the next episode.
JH
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Post by JH »

Could there have normally been two sentries but one is temporarily absent for some reason (eg needing to visit the privy)? Or maybe one sentry has gone AWOL for an hour or two on some business of their own? I've looked in here before actually reading the episode, so I don't know if that would fit in.

Added later:

I've read it now, and my ideas probably wouldn't work, as an absent guard would clearly quickly be detected. A couple of other points:

"Guardian, have you seen anything usual?" - that should be "unusual", I imagine.

"Be especially cautious over this next shift. She is overdue to wake, and you need to be watchful, yet discreet." - why would Astra be overdue to wake? From the earlier description, I had formed the impression that it was still the middle of the night.
JH
Anableps
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Post by Anableps »

Thank you. I added another guard near Astra's window whose duty would be to detect any magic, changed "usual" to "unusual," and added a couple of sentences to explain that Astra would usually wake in the middle of the night.
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