You Make Up Your Mind

The experimental drug sounds more hopeful. Having begun life male and wanting to be so again, the possibility that it might make you male is an attraction rather than a deterrent. You ask the professor to estimate the probability of each possible outcome.

"Well these figures are no more than an educated guess," he says. "It's impossible to be at all precise. With that understood, I'd say that the chance that you'd finish up around your original size - by which I mean your size when you were the princess - is about 40%. Of course you'd still be black. The chance that you'd finish up a giant - anything from seven feet upwards - I'd put at about 20%. That you grow fur say 10%. The chance of huge boobs is about another 10%. That you become male I'd put at 5%. What does that add up to?"

"85%," says Tim, who has been making notes.

"That sounds about right. The other 15% represents the chance of two or more of the above happening, or something else entirely, or even nothing at all occurring. Of course none of this will assist with convincing the authorities that you aren't an illegal immigrant, but I have a friend very high up in the State Department who owes me a big favour, so I think we might be able to get you some convincing documentation."

"Thank you. Based on what you've said, I think I'll risk taking the experimental drug. At this size, everyone is going to treat me like a child, so I think that trying to fix my height is the top priority, even above my ethnicity and gender."

So the professor takes you to see his colleugue who's the biochemistry expert, the drug is administered and by the next day:

1. You are no longer four feet tall but a much more normal five feet six inches.
2. You are seven feet 2 inches tall and will need a J-cup bra.
3. Apart from your face, the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet, you are covered in silver fur which makes a striking contrast to your black skin. And you haven't grown any taller.
4. You haven't changed at all.

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