Death From Above

Sure, they told me I was going to do a commercial. What they didn't tell me was that I was going to do my own stunt work as well. What they most definitely didn't do was show me the script before I got here. No, I am positive about that. If I had seen the script before leaving the studio I would not have gone here in the first place.

You see, the idea is to draw visitors by comparing the security at Carl's with some unspecified competitor. The opening shot is supposed to show how unsecure other amusement parks can be, so they want me to stand here yakking about security while one of the wagons derails and comes crashing to the ground right behind me. And because the producer wants a genuine reaction from me, they haven't told me exactly when the big hunk of steel is going to come down. Actually that worries me less than the fact that they seem to be deliberately vague about how far from me the wagon is going to land too. I just hope it turns out to be a positive distance...

1. All goes well, and I don't get crushed. Whew!
2. All goes well.... except for that I need a change of underwear.
3. All goes well, but I blow my line and we have to retake! NOOOO!!!
4. All does not go well; I get hit and lightly injured.
5. All does not go well; I get hit and severely injured.
6. All does not go well; I get hit and killed.

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