S(eman)tic(k)s

"Oh, you again," he says.

"I'm afraid so," I reply. "I'm afraid you misheard me. I do not want the river Styx (not yet anyway). I am looking for... sticks."

He pulls off his little cap to scratch his head. "You want glue?"

"Er, no."

"Duct tape?"

"No, no!"

"You sure? It's one of the most useful materials in the universe you know. Has even saved lives. Why, I remember..."

"Yes, no doubt," I interrupt him. "But right now I'm looking for... a piece of wood so I can play a game with Pooh and his friends."

He stares at me with a shocked expression. "Poo? You play games with excrement? That is not very healthy you know!"

"No no, he's a bear!"

"You got it wrong, lady. It's "Does a bear shit in the woods?", not "Is a bear shit in the woods?" Not that I'd call him that to his face. Or his ass for that matter."

At this point the conversation becomes completely derailed, and while I stand fumbling for words - or an idea of what the heck we are talking about - the gnome randomizes again and says: "If you're so inclined, I could get you into a game of craps..."

1. I accept the offer of duct tape. After all, it might come in handy.
2. I keep trying different ways of asking for pieces of wood.
3. I decide to check out the craps game, praying that it does involve dice.
4. I go back to the bridge.
5. To hell with it. I knock the gnome out and steal his cap.
6. I go back to the river and try to seduce Charon.
7. I find a bear and talk to his ass. It makes more sense than what I may get from the gnome.

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