Every Dog Has His Day

The Moff, who's name is Roger, picks up a chili dog and slaps you to the ground, then pauses to take a delicious bite. "When I'm out on my campaigns of conquest and slaughter," he says. "I love to take time out to enjoy the delicious taste of Moff Brand Chili Dogs!"

"And cut!" yells the director. "Roger that was perfect! The fans will just eat it up. Moff Dogs are gonna be big! I guarantee ya!"

You shudder in fear. The Moff is not just a seductive conqueror, he is also a celebrity and media whore! The Moff advances toward you, and picks you up in one arm. "Now, what should I do with you, my little bitch princess whatever you are?"

"Let me go!" you cry, squirming. "I thought I was supposed to get a trial by a jury of my peers!"

"Oh come now, what fun would that be? You know you're rather attractive in that outfit. I may just take a liking to you, whatever the circumstances might be."

"I'm really a dude!" you yell. "Dont touch me or that means you're gay! You queer!"

The Moff grins. "Well then! Even though you look like a female? What an interesting story!"

1. "Who cares, I shall make you my wife and invade this kingdom, since you look like their princess."
2. "I guess you can be a stable boy for the Moff then, Hahahaha!"
3. "I'll give you to my men to figure out what to do with, and they can report back to me."
4. "If you can defeat my Producer in hand to hand combat I'll let you go."
5. "But who cares? Lets all have another delicious Moff Brand Chili Dog"

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