Rescued at Last!!

"You got it!" the Peace Officer onscreen grins, and instructs you on how to unlock the ship's side port bay so the Reconciliatory Force Alpha can board the ship and rescue you. While everyone else aboard the Dodo Bird Hunter is busy fighting, drinking, drugging, making out and torturing defenseless animals, you follow the Peace Officer's instructions and fly into the awaiting arms of the good guys.

The next few days are a hazy blur of starvation, beatings, electrocution therapy and happy cartoons full of smiling rodents telling you just how Great and Wonderful it is to do the Right Thing. Somewhere through the haze of mind altering chemicals you realize that Good and Evil are indeed relative terms, or perhaps that this world is just really, really messed up. Also, you really love Big Brother, even though you vaguely understand that this is incest and frowned upon by most civilized cultures.

Not long after that, you're being led shackled and barefoot down the cold gunmetal gray corridors of the Lazoireum Four Maximum Security Unrehabilitated Female and Gender Neutral Unforgivable Offenders' Happy Time Home for Rest, Relaxation, Wonderment and New Learning. You stumble and fall down, hurting your ankle. The warden, a large African-American woman wearing a white uniform jerks you back on your feet by your leash and smacks you upside the head. You start to cry, and her harsh expression softens slightly. She says "Ok darlin' we dont usually do this sorta thing but you can choose your own cellmate this time aroun'. Jus' take a look and see who ya wanna bunk with. There's a number of fine ladies to choose from."

Hoots and howls greet you from the surrounding cages. "Fresh meat!!" "Over here, honey!" "She gon' be my bitch, shut da hell up!" "Oh, I got a surprise for her later in the shower!" You take a deep breath and examine the cages around with only one occupant, finally deciding that your cell-mate will be...

1. Zora Belkinova, dangerous Space Pirate and murderor.
2. Oqugio-Harutz-Zozo 9, a thrice convicted female cannibal/sexual offender from the Helldaemon race.
3. Fifi the female Hydrofelian Slaughter Beast.
4. Mya Kisskuri, an orange-furred catgirl convicted of being just too damn cute.
5. Josh Burbank. How did HE get in here?
6. Nuetral, the gender-neutral blob of biological matter.

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