Ponderings

"I'm surprised Sir John didn't want to room with you, Hari." Moula says, breaking my reviere.

"He's just being careful. He understands that we're free women now, and isn't presuming too much. That's very, um, mature of him." I reply, making a face. "Besides, at this late stage of my pregnancy, I need a break from all that anyway!" She nods in total agreement. It's been far too long since either of us had a choice of whom to take into our beds.

Of course, despite my assertion of freedom, Moula and I both still wear Madam Scarlet's anklets [3199], declaring us her property. I've gotten so used to wearing it I hardly think of it anymore. But looking at it now, I frown. We may need to find a blacksmith to get them off. They wouldn't be so visible if I had a floor length dress, which of course I do not. Even my 'maternity' dress is hopelessly immodest, not even reaching my knees, while accentuating my other features nicely. Moula's ensemble is equally revelaing, though at least she has shoes; I'm still barefoot, and have been ever since the heels provided to me at the brothel ceased to fit.

"We'll need some better clothes soon." I remark, pondering our situation. I hate to continue to rely on the good will of John and Teran to support us. They're mercenaries. They may want payment eventually, and since we have no money, I've a sinking feeling that there's only one way to give it. This is troubling me. It's one thing, doing what I had to in the brothel, even if I did come to terms with it eventually. Doing it outside that enviroment, and not under coercion, would be something else entirely. Or, maybe I'm just telling myself that to keep what remains of my dignity intact. I'm fearful that the label of whore may not be so easy to remove. Best not to think about it though.

So far, John and Teran's intentions haven't been at all dodgy. In fact, they've been downright noble, rescuing us as they have. Teran, especially, was indignant at the fact that I was there in the first place. John, not as much, but then he only knew me from the brothel. I'll just have to hope their generosity holds up.

Moula and I return downstairs where we eat a delicious breakfast of fried eggs, with rashers and plump sausages, and large chunks of bread and butter. It's the largest, tastiest meal I've eaten in months. (The meals at the brothel were rather small, since Scarlet wanted the girls to keep their slim figures) I devour the food ravenously, downing more than even Teran. After all, I am eating for two (at least!) After we've fininshed, I feel quite sleepy and, having not got much sleep the night before, go upstairs to nap.

1. For the first time in more than six months, I have one of my vision/dreams ( I had none while at Madam Scarlet's)
2. I wake up sometime later, and find Moula missing. Where could she be?
3. I wake up to the sound of raised voices outside. My stomach tightens to a knot as I fear they may be Gustav's men. Could they have tracked us so soon?
4. I wake up with a start, and find the bedding and my dress are soaked. My water's broke! I'm going to have the baby tonight!

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