Go to Hell!

"I believe you'll find I have impeccable credentials," you say, smiling amiably. "I've killed lots of people, drank heavily, fornicated with loose women and gambled. I rarely, if ever, gave to charity. I once tipped over a..."

The demon chuckles. "Yeah, we used to throw everyone who did that stuff in Hell, but it eventually got packed from floor to ceiling. There was no room left for the fire and brimstone. So now, we have a temporary Serious Sinners Only policy while we build an extra wing. I guess what I'm saying is, get lost, ya damn choir boy!"

You are quite surprised at this turn of events. "Wait, you're telling me my sins aren't serious enough?! What's a man gotta do to get into Hell - burn down a church while committing bestiality and devouring the flesh of innocents? If there are no vacancies in Hell, just where the, uh, hell am I supposed to go?"

"I dunno. Limbo? Hades? Valhalla? I really don't care," the demon grunts. "Get outta here! Hit the road! Scram!"

"Come now, surely we can come to some agreement, sir," you say.

"Hmm," the demon says. "Well, that is a nice watch you're wearing."

"But its my favorite watch!" you say.

"Look, do you want into Hell or not?"

"Fine, fine," you sigh, taking off your watch and handing it over. "But Hell had better live up to all the hype."

The demon swallows your watch and opens the gate to Hell. "Enjoy your stay, sir."

1. Head held high, you walk right into the inferno.
2. You suddenly have second thoughts.

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