See You Later Alligator

The nearest alligator looks curiously at you.

"Can you help me?" you ask politely. "I wanna get out of here!"

The alligator seems to ponder your words for a while, then it says

1. "Oh, so the smart human wants to get out. And you think we know the way but just stay here because we like it?"
2. "You don't want to be here? Okay, we can eat you, then you won't be anywhere. Not that you know at least."
3. "I am hurt! I thought you loved us."
4. "But you are an alligator too!"
5. ...nothing. Looks like it's just a dumb beast after all.
6. "Nobody steps on a church in my town!" Huh?

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