Astra Tries to Make Sense of a Baseball Metaphor

Astra said, "The unseen narrator said something about getting to second base. What exactly does he mean?"

Josh muttered something unintelligible, and then said, "What do you know about baseball?"

"Nothing. I am a princess from a Middle Ages -type setting, so the word does not make any sense to me."

Sara walked over, happy that the story had taken this turn. "It is an entertainment that some people play in a fantasy world in some stories that I have read. There are two teams. One team has a player tries to throw a hard ball about the size of an orange across a square patch on the ground called a 'base' to another player on his team. The other team has a player near the base that tries to hit the ball with a large stick. If that player hits the ball, then he starts to run, and tries to touch another square patch that is about 30 steps away."

Astra replied, "I do not remember anything like that in my life. 'Second base' is the patch that the lady hitting the ball tries to get to?"

Sara said, "For the metaphor's purpose, the hitter is usually a guy. The idea is that the woman puts obstacles in front of the man to make the game more fun, or to give her an opportunity to get out of the inning if the guy turns out to be completely boring. And the first patch that the guy runs to is 'first base.'"

Josh said, "Astra, are you going to listen to Sara's drivel? She is spoiling the mood."

"I think Sara is on to something. Here is the deal, Josh. I will give myself fully and freely to you, but you have to work for it. So Sara, the baseball equivalent would be 'getting to second base?'"

"Oh, no. That would be 'getting to home base.' The bases, the little patches that the hitter has to touch, are arranged in a diamond shape. So you start at 'home', and go to first, second, third, and back to 'home.'"

"So the woman runs the guy around to make him get what he wants?"

Sara smiled. Josh did not.

Astra said, "That sounds like fun. It is a pity that we don't have room here to play baseball."

Sara said, "As a matter of fact, there is a door here that leads to a perfectly laid out baseball field, and there are some uniforms in the closet."

Josh said, "Astra, you don't want to do this. Baseball goes on forever. It is boring."

Astra replied, "Josh, I love you very much, but how is that different from the last several hours?"

Sara unsuccessfully supressed a giggle. She was delighted at the turn the events had taken.

Josh pleaded, "Astra, we don't have the bats and balls. Or the people needed. In order to play baseball, you would eight other people to play on your team."

Sara opened a closet drawer, and which revealed a rack of bats, and a bin full of baseballs, as well as some baseball uniforms neatly folded away. Much to Josh's chagrin, Astra started to dress herself. He was so close - why couldn't the powers that be cut him a break for once? The baseball uniform accentuated her figure. She tied her hair into a pony tail and it poked out from the back of a ball cap. Astra took a baseball from the bin, and threw it up just a little bit in the air.

Josh said, "So, Sara, I suppose that you will volunteer to be the catcher of the ball?"

Sara smiled wickedly. "No, there is a team lined up to support Astra. They don't need me for that. I am the umpire."

Josh grumbled, but reluctantly put on a uniform and grabbed a bat. Astra was strong, but she had never thrown a baseball before. She would have trouble aiming it - so what was the romantic equivalent of a walk? Or, in a worse case, a hit batsman? Maybe he could get one out to the outfield and make it all the way home. A door that he had never before noticed opened, and he was looking out at a ball park. Josh looked out at the teams.

1. The powers-that-be had lined up a team of NEQ all-stars, one side all female, the other all male.
2. The powers-that-be had done something completely different.

Go Back

View Forward Story Tree
View Back Story Tree