Seinfeld - the Saga Continues!!!!
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 92968
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George and Jerry entered Monk's Coffee Shop and took a seat at their
usual booth. Jerry had just informed George of his recent nightmare. George peered at Jerry through his probing eyes. “That, my friend, was one rough dream.” Jerry nodded. “Yeah.”“I mean, some of it was pretty accurate. We did go to prison. That was rough.” “Yeah, tell me about it,” Jerry sighed.“I still can’t walk straight. I did get in shape though. We both beefed up nicely. It wasn’t that bad, I suppose. In hindsight, you know. I read a lot in there. Gained some new perspectives. Came out a better man for it. The anal rape I could have done without. Thats a given, though.” “C'mon, will ya?”“It’s true! I’m a better person now. I am addicted to crack. That part’s true. No worse than Charlie Sheen, though. But uh…this Scott character really did die though, huh? You just found out?” “Something, isn't it?”Geroge snapped his fingers in excitement. “You, my friend, have ESP or something’! This is HUGE!” Jerry gave a nod and took a tentative sip from his coffee. “I know!”“The part about Elaine being a whore wasn’t too far off, either. I've always liked her. You know that. But she’s a little too…I dunno….liberal with her sex life. She passes it off as being a ‘modern, empowered’ woman. But really she’s just a slut. Like you and me.” “Sure.”“Did she show her breasts in the dream?” “She's not really the naked type.”“I can't believe I still haven’t seen her naked. Hell even Kramer has seen her in the nude! I always feel left out. Speaking of Kramer, you know he asked me to go with him to Scotland? He had some vacation package he won.” Jerry’s eyes widened. “He did?”“Yeah, I turned him down. Scotland. Meh. Too…misty for my taste.” “How come you didn't tell me?”“He asked me to keep it a secret. Ever since you two got out of prison there’s been a real rift between you.” “But you can never keep a secret!” exclaimed Jerry.George laughed that laugh of his. You the know one. It ends with a snort. “I know,” he admitted. “This was like a record. My previous record was when Jack Hirsch asked me not to tell anybody that we slept together in prison. You know, the convicted murderer I shared a cell with. Well…it was more like violent rape. There wasn’t any sleeping involved. Well, he fell asleep right afterward. I just cried. Anyway…. Kept a lid on that for about 28 seconds.” Jerry chuckled. “Well, you've come a long way, baby.”“I've matured.” Jerry rolled his eyes. “Hey listen,” he said, changing the subject. “Speaking of Scotland, that Scott character is having a funeral there in a couple days, just like in the dream. You wanna go with me? I got an extra ticket!”George’s eyes brightened .“A free ticket? I already told you, Scotland just doesn’t do it for me. Tell me you got me a ticket to Paris and I’m there! Now THAT’S a city! Can you imagine making it with a French woman? But uh…Scotland has it’s upsides….I suppose. Certainly not the cuisine. But uh…the moors. The lochs. I might be into it…” “Yeah, in fact we could track down Kramer. I always felt bad about the way we parted, you know? That was a mess. I never should have shanked him in the slammer.”“What about accommodations?” George, ever the worrier, wondered. “All taken care of.”A concerned look came over George’s face. “Is there a meal allowance? They’re not gonna serve us hagus, are they? What about seat assignments? Could I have the Kosher meal? I hear the Kosher meal is good. And I need clothes for that climate. Gotta get a haircut. Gonna have to, I have to stock up on my crack. You think they got decent crack in Scotland or am I gonna have to try and smuggle it through the airport? They have those full body scanners now, you know. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden. Oh, do I need a hat? I need a hat, don't I? Could we do the Loch Ness tour? I’ve always believed in Nessy. To Hell with the doubters, I say!”
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3/11/2011 2:20:00 PM
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