And the Road Goes On Forever

Being basically a vine, and being that said vine has no visible means of support, the beanstalk falls over, crushing dozens of buildings beneath it

Sir Denton Cooley is a doctor, if you can call him that. He learned his craft at the feet of Lord Russell Brock, the discoverer that the heart actually served to pump blood through the human body. Most of his art consists of severing limbs and treating the stumps with fire and hot tar, to make sure that the victim doesn't bleed to death, bleeding patients to bring their humours back into balance, or using leeches. Sometimes, they even survived.

Being something of a neat-freak, Cooley has a small supply of lye soap, and washes his hands thoroughly between patients. While it marks him among his peers as something of an effete fop, Denton has noticed that a surprising number of his patients survive their treatments and go on to recover, and has begun to wonder if some special quality inherent in soap has anything to do with it. Some time ago, he began washing the wounds of injured patients with warm water and soap, he also noticed that those wounds seemed to fester less and heal faster. His colleagues told him it was nonsense, of course--illness was sent by Satan, and God disposes solely at His whim; one recovers, or one does not, solely by divine fiat. Everyone knows that, just like everyone knows that the hands of a gentleman are always clean, always. And yet...Denton wonders. And so he directs his midwives to wash THEIR hands as well even over their protests, and the clothes and sheets they use, in hot water, with soap. Something like three of every four children died before the Cooley Regimen. Afterwards, the number fell to fewer than one in ten. Some of the local priests scowl and mutter about sorcery and witchcraft, but Denton ignores them, and goes right on washing his hands.

On this day, he's at his home, washing his scalpels in boiling water--he does this several times a day, and his surgical patients seem to be doing better than the ones who went to doctors who didn't use boiling water. He's deep in thought, staring out the window and thinking carefully of what he intended to write in his journal later, when the beanstalk crashes through the roof, crushing him instantly.

His assistant takes over his practice; relieved, his midwives stop the unnatural practice of boiling their clothes in stinking lye soap--dirty clothes warded away the spirits of plague, everyone knew that. The local priests, relieved, chalk it up to divine justice. Obviously, Cooley WAS a witch--once he's gone, the death rate among the sick and afflicted climbs goes back to normal.

Another crisis averted.

1. Josh ambles across the countryside, oblivious. He discovers a merchant selling magic sheep.
2. What other incredible advances in knowledge and technology does Josh manage to completely fuck up?
3. A giant sentient potato falls from the sky. It demands sacrifices.

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