High Class Prisoner
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 91480
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A series of strange nightmares haunted Fred and it left him disoriented as to what was real and what was not. He found himself a beheaded head, hanging on a spear outside on the top of the castle, conscious and horrified of his fate. He found himself tied down onto cold stone, surrounded by ninjas in black. They wielded instruments of mutilation: The circular throwing ring, the cutting saw, and their giant swords. The question was which one would be used to mutilate his manhood. He found himself in the Dragon’s Lair again, this time naked and weaponless, facing the dragon himself. Yet in the midst of these night terrors, he found himself at times lying on a soft cushiony surface, wrapped in heavy warm cloths. It was not until the dragon roasted his body alive with his fire breath that he truly woke up, startled and shaken, that he realized that he realized that the nightmares were just that: nightmares, and lying here in cushions and cloths was his reality. He was in a bed.
The decorations of bookshelves, ugly paintings of famous royal and military figures, and familiar room apparel indicated that he was still in Exotica’s castle and not in the lair of the man in black. Two oil lamps and a trio of candles on a stand lit the room on a work desk across from the bed, making the windowless room as bright as day. Fred was now keenly aware that he had to piss badly. He was also now very hungry. During his time asleep, they had placed a bedpan below, which was dutifully filled with piss. He hoped Exotica didn’t see that. He got out of bed and walked to the door. He turned the handle and it barely moved. Locked. He tried to push and pull but to no avail. It would seem he still was a prisoner, despite not being in the custody of the ninja. Before he could knock, a sliding door in the middle opened to reveal a castle guard through narrow horizontal steel bars. “Yur awake? Good. The Princess will be happy ta know.”“I am Lord Lord Frederigo D'Honaire of the Kingdom of Allaria. I demand you take me to speak with her highness at once.” “We know who ya are, arseface. The Princess will meet ya when she is damn well readie. Un right now, her lady’ss taken her beauty sleep. An she won’t be disturbed durin’ her beautee sleep.” Fred gritted his teeth. Nobody talked to a Lord this way. “You listen to me. I am a Lord and Knight of Allaria, chosen by the King to fulfill a dire quest. You have no right to lock me up and detain me like a petty criminal.” It was the guard’s turn to grit his teeth. “Petty criminal. Spoiled rich pudding arse. A petty criminal doesn’t get ta spend the night in the guestroom. They get ta spend it in the dungeons. You should be thankin’ us fur the warm bed, and yur room not reeking of your own piss.” Fred admitted to himself that the guard had a point: He may be a prisoner, but he was an upper-class prisoner. And this whole situation seemed suspicious, especially to an outsider: The night the castle is attacked by ninjas, he happens to have appeared in the castle when he should have been over a hundred miles away in the Dragon’s caves. It was reasonable for them to mistrust him. However, he wasn’t about to tell that to the guard. “What is the hour?” he said, without an ounce of respect in his voice. “The rooster’s just crowed. The kitchens have just fired up.” “Then you can get me breakfast. I want bacon, cooked until it starts to blacken. Bring that with eggs soaked in the grease. Have fruit and bread served with it.” The guard stared at him, loathingly, but left. During his absence, Fred used this time to relieve himself in the bedpan in private. He was indeed thankful that the smell didn’t invade the room. Twenty minutes later, the guard returned with his breakfast. The bacon was dark reddish-brown and black on the edges and the eggs were fried, soft, and peppered. The tray the guard carried also contained a bowl with two green apples, a type of soft light bread, and a glass of milk. Fred’s stomach let out an inadvertent groan. The guard used his free hand to use a key from his keyring and inserted it into a part of the door Fred couldn’t see. The outline that the horizontal bars were connected to popped open and the tray could now fit through the door opening. The guard shoved it into Fred’s hands and left without a word. If the man had spit in his food at all, Fred did not notice or care. He immediately popped some of the crispy greasy bacon into his mouth. He dipped the bread in the egg yolks and ate the whites with his bare hands. He devoured in meal within ten minutes. He was desserting on one of the apples when the door slot opened again. Facing him was a different man, one that looked rougher and with greater wits. “Clean yourself up, soldier. Her Highness will be arriving within the half hour.” He unlatched the horizontal bars and handed a bowl fully of soapy water. He didn’t even bother with a tray, just handed it to Fred directly. Fred noted a giant scar, running across his forehead and the left side of his mouth cut open in a permanent smile by a blade, a half Glasgow smile. It was good to have another soldier in his presence. Fred washed his greasy hands, as well as his face, and was reading the titles of the books on the shelves (most of them about war history, war tactics, war heroes, and fictional war novels) when the door, this time the whole door itself opened.
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10/30/2013 9:26:58 AM
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