Making a Mess of the Mess

"Oh no...oh no," says Wonder Woman, all the blood draining from her face.

She grabs Aquaman by the wrist and drags him out of the bathroom, rushing to the mess.

They enter the mess to find most of the rookie staff of the watchtower is already scarfing down lunch--Sloppy Joes and fries, served up by none other than Josh Burbank, and stop dead in their tracks.

At a nearby table, Firestorm sees them enter. "Hey!" he calls. "You need to try these fries--I dunno what the new dude did to them, but these might be the best french fries on the planet! You need to grab some!"

"Soufle pomfrit," calls Josh, from the kitchen area.

"Yeah, whatever. They're fuckawesome," says Guy Gardner from the same table. He bites noisly into a crispy potato. Beside her, she hears Aquaman barely stifle a gagging noise. "Freckle-face there says he used his own seasoning recipe for 'em. I dunno what he did, but they're great." He takes a bite of his Sloppy Joe and chews oddly before he spits out the errant hair. "Damn, dude--next time, wear a cap!" he calls out

"It ain't one of mine!" he calls back cheerfully. "Oh yeah--Aquaman, I took care of the rat problem in cargo bay four!" he calls out.

Guy notices for the first time Wonder Woman's death-pale face and open mouth and the look of horror on Aquaman's visage. "What's up? Don't tell me you've never found a hair in yer food. Seriously, get a plate and dig in--this stuff's goin' fast." He resumes inhaling his lunch.

"Nooo...I don't think I'll be having any of the potatoes. OR the Sloppy Joes.

"Remind me to never...ever...ever eat anything Josh cooks," moans Aquaman. "OR anything in this mess. Not until it's sterilized." Josh catches them staring at him. "Uhhh...what?" he asks.

1. Firestorm finds a bone chip in his sloppy joe. Wonder Woman makes a run for the nearest bathroom.
2. More deep fuckwittery from Josh ensues.
3. See exciting and hilarious details from Josh's basic superhero training HERE.
4. Emergency! The Watchtower is under attack! Time for Josh to show his metahuman stuff with his Teeth of Soul-Eating!
5. They try to give Josh different jobs. What happens?

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