Aquadunsel

"So...since we're in Detroit..." says Wonder Woman, "Why, exactly, are you trying to communicate with fish again?"

Aquaman pauses in his attempts to hail sea life for a moment and sighs; he's had this conversation one too many times this month. "Look, princess," he snaps. "you can fly and you're almost as strong as Superman, you're effectively bulletproof and you've got a magic fucking lasso. Unless it involves punching something out--which I'm not too bad at, may I remind you--then this is all I've got. It's useful on 3/4 of the planet. It's not my fault that most of your worst enemies are land-based. This is what I've got going for me, so by God I'm going to use it."

He shuts his eyes for a few seconds, concentrating. "Besides, it doesn't just work on fish--it can work on most anything that lives near or on an ocean. We're half a mile from a landfill. Landfills and dumps often have seagulls, even ones far inland. Maybe I can raise something for some aerial recon."

"Yes, dumps have gulls, but...it's DETROIT--" she says, but he waves her to silence, a puzzled look on his face.

"I'm...getting something?" he says. "What the hell?"

Josh hears a voice in the back of his mind--and this one doesn't sound like ANY of the voices he normally hears rambling in his head, which is puzzling. Enraptured, he starts in the direction of the noise.

The two superheroes look up as he approaches out of the smoke. "Are you God?" the demented figure calls out. "I'm yours to command, master!" he babbles, and throws himself to the ground at Aquaman's feet. Before he can move, the lunatic lunges forward and hugs his legs. "I'M YOUUUUURS! MY SOUL IS YOURS, LORD!" it yodels.

"Oh God..." says Aquaman, "GET IT OFF! GEDDIDOFF!" He kicks frantically at the bizarrely babbling young man, trying to get it off his legs, and manages to free one leg--the crazed barmy hugs the other one all the tighter.

Wonder Woman stares at the tableau before her, her mouth open. "I...just...ewww," she says. After a few seconds, a pecular smile crosses her face. "I guess you've got a pet," she says.

Aquaman stops trying to slap the crazed man away from kissing his boots long enough to scowl and flip her the bird. She laughs.

1. Josh is a metahuman, sort of. He's got powers, sort of. He does anything Aquaman says, sort of. So the JLA gets him. They give him makework to try to keep him out of the way.
2. The Titanic falls out of the sky in front of them.
3. Darkseid wanders by, singing a drunken song about how much he loves doughnuts.
4. Josh's craziness is contagious. The two of them catch it by contact.
5. A cow goes sailing by on a skateboard.

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