A New World Record--or NOT

"Awesome! I can bite through this candy bar as if it was tissue paper! Josh says to himself."

And so he does, after calling Guiness--just to prove he can do it. Sadly, this doesn't actually prove anything. The guys from the Guiness Book of World Records are somewhat less than impressed.

1. He gets the world record anyway. Hey, it was a slow day.
2. ...for most boring waste of time and oxygen ever in the history of the universe.
3. Next, Josh bites something more challenging, like a pork chop.
4. Josh's teeth come to screaming unholy life and demand sacrifices. Jost must undergo a quest to get rid of them!
5. The Guiness reps beat him senseless with a sack of doorknobs.

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