Killer Moves!

"So let's see what you've got," says the fat, sweating Tom Cruise lookalike.

"Okay," you say, brightly. "I'm a graduate of the Notre Dame School of Stripping and Beautician's Academy. I graduated with a degree in nuclear physics and hot dog skiing--"

"No, no, let me see you dance. What kind of moves you got?" he says, interrupting you.

"Oh. Right. Yeah, here, let me demonstrate my finishing move." He looks momentarily nonplussed at the words "finishing move." Martian arts, stripping, who cares? "It's called 'headbutting the wall.'"

With that, you drop your head and charge at the nearest brick wall, wailing like Adam Sandler on meth. Your skull impacts with a sickening crack.

1. Awesome! You're hired!
2. Awesome! You're dead!
3. You demonstrate your next stripperiffic move, which involves riding the shoulders of a fat guy in a cowboy hat around the room while beating him with a loaf of French bread.
4. You turn yourself into a vegetable.
5. Wait, wait..."martian arts?"
6. Captain Murphy wanders in and declares Martian law.
7. EPIC DANCE-OFF!

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