So That Was Where Robert Got To
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 88855
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Upon her triumphant return to terra firma, Astra tipped the bottle and
shook it violently - like an American trying to get the last stubborn bit
of ketchup on their hotdog or a British nanny shaking an infant that just
wont shut up - until the little green genie plopped right out and tumbled
to the ground. He looked up at her like a roach about to meet the bottom of a shoe or in his case, a slipper. "What's all this, then?" he finally sputtered. Astra shook her head in wonder as the seconds crept by in silence. Silent but for the crashing of the waves on the beach and the screams of horror carried on the winds from the ship, that is. "Are you kidding me?" she finally said. "Look around you! Look at me! This is your fault! And you're going to be the one who fixes it, got it? And don't feed me any of that nonsense about 'rules'!""Well, see....that's the thing," the genie stammered. "They're not my rules..." "I don't care whose rules they are!" she snapped. "Just fix it!""I'm afraid I still don't quite understand..." "Well, for starters you can make my breasts normal again.""You can't just make demands like that! I already told you - my hands are tied!" "Oh, can't I? It's either you help me or...or...I'll squash you where you stand!"The genie snorted it's indignance at such a brazen comment. "Threats of violence? Didn't your mum teach you any manners?" "Well, why can't a woman make wishes like a man? At least answer me that.""Fair enough," the genie nodded. But right about then a particularly large swell came rushing up the beach, washing the little gremlin out to sea before he could go on. Astra sighed that tired sigh of hers. "Figures.""Astra!" a familiar voice rang out. She turned to see Alexis bounding down the beach toward her, BBBB (though not on Astra's level of BBBBmanship). "Alexis! There you are! Are you alright?""I'm fine," the prince- turned-princess said with labored breaths. "Gimme a moment. Whew! You haven't seen King Robert about, have you?" Astra glared at the sea but did not answer.On cue, Robert showed up in his all too sneaky fashion. "Hello, girls," he casually remarked, picking dirt and God-knows- what-else out from under his fingernails. "I see you got away alright." "Dammit, Bob!" Astra raged. "Don't sneak up on us like that! Where did you go? How did those monkeys grow wings? What happened to Fred? When did texting and driving become acceptable? Why do...""One question at a time, my love," Bob interrupted. "I didn't go anywhere, really. What? Don't give me that look. You didn't expect me to wait around in the open, did you? I saw what was going on the whole time, from my strategic position. I had a plan. A good one, mind you, unlike your suicidal propositions. I didn't dessert you. Well, I did, but it was calculated. You always jump to the worst conclusions, don't you? Hurts my feelings, really. Regardless, I consulted my court mage - any respectable palace comes with one - and he just so happened to specialize in monkey magic. The rest is history. You can still hear those damn Hespaniards screaming! HA! They'll all be dead soon enough..." Astra cocked her head to the side and stared at Billinglsey with unblinking eyes. At length, she finally gave in and blinked. "Monkey magic?""It's a rather small school of magic," he added. "Pretty new, in fact. What are the odds, I know! A little too convenient, right? Look, I'm not the one writing this rubbish..." "I know, I know," the princess all too readily agreed. "It's not entirely your fault.""You really do want me, don't you?" he beamed.
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1/15/2010 8:28:27 AM
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