Enter, the Dragon
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 88458
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“Peekaboo!” said the dragon in a booming voice that reverberated
throughout the caves. “Well, this is it, I suppose,” Fred whispered with a sharp nudge to the princess. “The final showdown. A bit anti-climactic, if you ask me.” “How so?” queried the princess.“Well, you know...I was expecting better, I guess. A fully evolved storyline, more fleshed out character development. A plot-twist or two. A love scene involving me and you...and maybe, if we were really feeling kinky....Velus....” “Ewww!”“I mean, if we was turned back into a human!” Fred quickly recovered. “Goodness! The thoughts that go through your head at times, princess! Revolting!” “Well you’re the one insinuating an orgy!” “It’s called a threesome, Astra,” Fred explained. “An orgy involves four or more....”“Well it’s a devil’s threesome!” “Technically, no. Not if we don’t touch, it isn’t. Velus and I, that is. We’d just take turns. Well, we might high five each other, but that doesn’t count....”“ENOUGH!!!!” thundered the dragon, revealing itself before them in all of it’s terrible glory – with crimson scales that were harder than the finest, tempered armor and eyes that glowed brighter than the hottest ember in the hottest forge and wings that could level a barn with one mighty beat and a tail mightier than the mightiest oak tree and..... “We get the point!” blustered Fred, rudely interrupting the author of this episode. “Just get on with it!” Fine...anyway....“ENOUGH!!!!” thundered the dragon, revealing itself before them in all of it’s terrible glory – etc. etc. “Oh, great and terrible dragon,” Fred declared, bowing before the beast. “I have come, as your humble servant, to return this prisoner here.” He nodded toward Astra. “And also there was this dog. Not sure if he got loose from his cage, or what. But he seemed to be up to some mischief.”Astra was almost too appalled to speak. “You turncoat, Fred!” she finally said. Velus barked his discontent as well.“Quiet, you two!” Fred said in a loud whisper. “This is just a ploy!” “Just a what?” the dragon boomed inquisitively.“Uh...nothing,” Fred faltered. “No, I distinctly heard you whisper something to those two. Secrets don’t make friends.”“No, I...uh....I didn’t whisper anything to them. Just a bit of a cough. Ahem! Ahem! Musty air down here, right guys?” Velus and Astra nodded their heads vehemently.“Hmmmmmmm,” pondered the dragon aloud. “Seems rather fishy. You sure you didn’t say anything to them? “Cross my heart and hope to die,” the knight pledged. “Stick a needle in my eye, and what have you.”“Very well,” the dragon relented as twin plumes of smoke issued forth from his wide, flaring nostrils. “Sounds good to me. Well, princess, I see you escaped. Good thing this chap here found you and returned you. That Astra is a handful, is she not?” “Oh, you’re telling me! Women, huh? Can’t live with ‘em, can’t hit them too hard or they’ll bruise!” “HAHAHAHA!!!” the dragon laughed, causing stalactites to fall from the ceiling. Wait...stalactites? Or stalagmites? I will leave it to the savvy reader to decide. Some narrowly missed hitting the three intrepid adventurers. Velus, for one, dodged away just in time. “Too true, too true. You seem like a lively sort. My kind of guy! I don’t think we’ve met...” Fred bowed even lower. “Lord Fred, at your service.”“Well now, that’s more like it. You see that, Astra? That’s how you address one of my stature. Take some notes.” “Oh....go suck an egg!” the princess spat.“Tisk, tisk, princess. I thought the time spent shackled to the cave walls would have done you some good. But I see you are stubborn as always. Fred, do me a favor, won’t you?” “Sure. What do you need?”“I need you to...
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