Two Moons
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 88257
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As Fred drew his sword, Tferrat came howling at him like a demented elfish
tornado. Fred readied himself, his eyes and his blade gleaming in the pale
moonlight. Using the same swift criss-crossing motion that had been employed to disable their steeds, however, the elf’s cyclonic onslaught soundly overwhelmed him. The startled knight stumbled back under the force of the assault, and as his sword clashed with the whirlwind of axes, it was wrenched from his grip and flung several feet away into the brush that fringed the trail. The violent collision of their weapons rang through the silent night like the ominous tolling of a death bell. Tferrat grinned, exhibiting yellow fangs and unfurled scarlet tongue, then dove in for the kill as a lion would it’s prey. Again, Fred leapt away in time, if only barely, headlong into the brush where his sword had fallen moments earlier.“You’re fast - for a clumsy human oaf,” remarked the elf. “But I can smell the sweet tinge of fear coursing through your blood!” Suddenly, a clap of thunder tore through the tranquility of the cloudless night, accompanied by a flash of lightning that found it’s source in the very fingertips of Jernicus’s outstretched hands. He no longer had the youthful glow of Barstrom, but carried now the aura of an omnipotent wizard.The elf was paralyzed as the raw cosmic power unleashed by the mage surged through every sinewy fiber of it’s being. Fred, spying his moment, sprang to his feet with sword in hand once more. He swung wildly at the elf, but was alarmed when the lithesome creature broke the hold of Jernicus’s spell and parried his attack with a simple sidestep And what of Jarvis? Well, believe it or not, the mangy old misbegotten whoremongering whoreson had an idea! This trail was one he had forged himself, you see, as these hills - though still technically under the authority of the Baron - were some of his favorite trapping grounds. In fact, he knew of a particularly nasty set of clamps he had set but a few feet from the ‘trail’ at this very spot! What were the odds? Usually, he would have cursed his luck, as the trap had obviously rendered no catch. But on this particular night he thanked his lucky stars.....“Hey, elfy, elfy elfy!” he shouted with that raspy, obnoxious voice of his - dancing side to side like a drunken lout and flailing his arms about apishly, basically carrying on like an idiot - in other words, being himself. “Ye can’t catch me, you oversized puff!” Then, to everyones horror, he dropped trough, turned about, and raised his glorious bare buttocks into the air. There were now two full moons tonight; one bathing the landscape in it’s spectral luminance from high above, the other basking in the blue light of it’s counterpart from down below....only the latter was paler, hairy, and pocked not by craters but with acne (and some sort of rash that looked infected...the tattoo on the small of his back that said 'sexy' was a bit unsettling, too).The ploy worked! Tferrat turned to face him, his face contorted with a blend of annoyance and anger, then lunged at him with a strength of limb that would have impressed a tiger. “What did you call me!” he raged.Now that should have been the end of Jarvis, and at any other place in time it would have been. But not tonight. The trapper’s timing and placement was perfect. He had stepped back from the trail, putting the gnarly set of iron clamps directly between him and the incoming elf. Not just any manner of trap, mind you, but one meant for the particularly large breed of brown bear that made these hills their home. It happened in an instant, taking the elf completely by surprise.SNAP! Tferrat wawled in agony as the gruesome clamps snatched his right foot and brought him to the ground.Jernicus and Fred seemed just as startled, a look of utter confusion etched on both their faces. Jarvis grinned and brushed off his hands, perhaps becoming a bit overly arrogant in the heat of the moment. He can perhaps be forgiven, given all that had transpired on this long, grueling day. “All in a day’s work!” he added, turning to his dumbfounded traveling companions as he buttoned up his trousers.“By the moons of Jupiter!” Jernicus exclaimed. “How!? How did you...?” “You knavish devil!” Fred rejoiced. He’d had his own close call with one of Jarvis’s traps, you must remember. Seizing another moment of opportunity, he advanced upon his fallen enemy and swiftly disarmed him. Tferrat’s wolfish howls of anguish still filled the night.He made ready to finish the elf off, but stopped short, his own sense of honor impeding him. He loomed over his enemy with the business end of his sword at his foe’s neck. “Now what was that about not reaching Goldstadt alive?” he pondered aloud.
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12/12/2009 8:45:24 AM
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