Change '00

"I would like to thank the American people for electing me President."

Wild applause bursts forth from the massive crowd as Obama turns to smile at his young wife, four months pregnant with their second child. Michelle squeezes the hand of the two-and-a-half-year-old Malia Ann, beaming with pride.

"At this time, I would like to read a poem which I received by anonymous email only a few years ago. It has meant a great deal to me, and I believe it encapsulates beautifully what this moment means to me as an individual, and to us as a country.

Clearing his throat, the President prepares to read the first line of the poem.

1. "If you can keep your head when all about you..."
2. "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood..."
3. "I like big butts, and I cannot lie..."
4. "Oh, frothingly joyous micturitions, how I swaddle thee..."
5. Suddenly, a jealous Al Gore runs naked across the stage, screaming.
6. Meanwhile, an innocent clown prepares to perform at a Texas drug and alchohol rehabilitation clinic...

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