Triumph and Disaster

She had won. The cost had been great. She felt a pang of guilt about murdering Sigin, but pushed it out of her mind, with a thought that, perhaps with the knowledge that she was about to gain, she could bring him back. But she would fulfill her father's work, and he would be proud of her.

She could not see for a few fleeting seconds, and there was a high- pitched ringing sound in her ears, but these went away. She arose from what seemed to be a stone bench in a large building. The ring was no longer on her finger, but she had been clothed at least, in a simple white linen robe and sandals.

She stared up. The scale of this palace was enormous. It was built of some white stone - possibly marble, but she could not be sure. It was a very austere building, with no painting, or ornament, or even windows. Adele shivered. It was cold. It was not quite cold enough to turn her breath into a stream of frost, but cold enough where she hoped that there was a fire somewhere. Perhaps she could conjure up some fire. But it was better to wait, and not damage the building.

She walked down the corridor. Her footsteps echoed eerily throughout the chamber. The corridor went on and on. She looked around for a passage, or a painting, or any sign of life, but she saw none. She started to rub her arms to warm up. Starting a fire would be difficult, as she did not see any fuel for it.

After a while, she started counting her footsteps to gauge the distance. She knew that 140 paces (2 of her steps) covered about a furlong on level ground. This made 1120 paces to the Imperial mile of her city. She had not started counting from the beginning, but what she had counted was 3360 paces, or three miles. Fortunately for her, after the first mile she no longer noticed the cold.

In another stroke of good luck, she could now see a couple of chairs and a table close by. The table was a slab of glass. The two chairs were made of some white metal, with some thin beige upholstery for backing. Adele was surprised by the starkness of this palace. Who would want to live here? Perhaps this room was made for something else?

Adele sat down in the chair closest to the part of the corridor where she came in. Her father did not seem to be present. She did not know what to do, but she was tired, and wanted to rest. She noticed here that there was a blind recess in the wall, as if a window had been plastered over. She could hear herself breathe, and feel the beating of her heart. She still felt excited. She expected to be able to travel back to the Citadel, and learn many things that were secret. She would bring back her father to life, and things would be well again. But not having her father here made her uneasy. She expected a guide, or some answers. But she told herself that she must have patience.

After a time, Adele stood up, explored the immediate area to see if there was any clues as to what the purpose of the place was, as well as to get warm. She did not feel hungry or thristy, which was another surprise to her. She found nothing, and having warmed herself up, sat back at the table.

In the silence, she thought that she heard some footsteps from far down the corridor. She waited in anticipation. After a few minutes, she knew that someone was coming down the corridor. She could see a dark dot on the horizon.

The figure was cloaked, much like she was, but the material was coarser. It may have been burlap, but it was dyed a reddish-brown, the color of dried blood. Adele's mind flashed to the bodies in the corridor, and then pushed the image out of her mind. But that image did not quite go away.

Adele's nose crinkled as the figure got closer. She caught a whiff of ammonia and excrement. She was shocked, as the corridor was clean to the point of sterility. And there was also a hint a sickenly sweet smell. Adele wished to run, but she froze.

The figure pulled up a chair and sat down. Adele could not see its face. She coughed, and breathed through her mouth, trying to block out the foul smell of the figure.

She looked up, and said, "I am Adele, daughter of Belboz and Martina."

The figure spoke in a voice that was much like hers! Sterner and colder, but unmistakably hers. "I know who you are. Why are you here?"

"My father has built a machine based on ancient plans. He hoped to receive wisdom and knowledge. Sadly, he died, but I have been able to bring it to life."

"And what would you do with that knowledge?" the woman replied.

Adele hesitated. Her fondest wish was to bring her father back to life. And Sigin, too. But she did not want to tell this woman about Sigin. Suddenly she was ashamed of what she had done.

Adele stammered. "To do good. To help my friends, and punish my enemies. And to get respect."

The woman replied, "Can you name me some of your friends?"

Adele said, "I would say that my father was a friend, of a sort. I love him. There is a soldier named Matthias."

The woman said, "What is a friend?"

Adele said, "Someone who looks out for you. Someone that treats you nice."

The woman said, "And how about someone who will try to help you, even when they say something that you do not want to hear? Like to warn you of danger?"

Adele did not like the direction the conversation was going, and she was not getting used to the foulness of the woman's scent, as she would with common barnyard smells. But she did not move. She answered, "Yes. I had not thought of that, but a true friend would risk getting me mad by telling me something that I did not want to hear."

"Would you have considered Sigin a friend?"

Adele felt her stomach churn, and wanted to vomit. And it was not from the stench of the woman. She looked at her, and said, "Yes. You know about Sigin, then."

"Yes."

"Well, my father was a necromancer. He made a specialty of studying the dead. He ... we ... I had hoped that I could find a secret that would bring the dead back to life."

"Did you ever see him succeed?"

"Not like making them good as new. But I should be able to do it."

The woman shook her head. "Your father and Sigin are not coming back, Adele."

"How can you be so sure?"

"There are certain things that you cannot change. Even a magician has her limits."

Adele thought about this for a minute. Her father offered her no guidance. She was alone. And now, the picture became clear. She had murdered someone that was trying to save her and the companions in the party, in cold blood, and she would not be able to fix it through magic.

The woman continued, "Your mouth is open, Adele. Is there something wrong? Does my scent offend you?"

Adele said, "Well, I have thought that if you could wash, it might be more pleasant for you."

The woman said, "Thank you for being tactful. You do know who I am?"

Adele replied, "No, ma'am."

The woman replied, "You do know. You wanted knowledge. You are going to get the knowledge that you need." The woman stood up, and flung back her hood of her robe, and dropped her robe to waist level.

Adele choked, unable to speak. Finally, she whimpered, "Help."

"You don't make it easy for me, Adele. But that is what I have been trying to do. I am what people see in you, beyond the pretty exterior. You recognize me still, right?"

Adele replied, "You look like a corpse. That wound on your cheek, it is just crawling with maggots. Can't you do something about it?"

"No. The face of a murderess is usually regarded as being ugly. And the circumstances of this particular murder were especially bad. You certainly cannot say that you were defending yourself, or that Sigin was evil. You can try to keep the wound hidden if you want, but the corruption will break out for all the world to see at some time. These worms will stay until you have confessed, and have accepted judgment. And these bruises on my ribs are also fresh. They are from what you did to Elaine and Astra."

"And the stench?"

"The way that you treat those around you has caused that. Every petty argument with Elaine. The high-handed way you treated Matthias when he was trying to comfort Astra. People see this, and while they don't say anything, they notice the stink."

Adele stared at her alter ego. Her face was still fair of form, except for the ugly and infested gash on her cheek. But the brows seemed to be heavier from frowing. But her body had been battered and bruised.

"Cover it back up," Adele pleaded.

"As you wish. But the wounds and ugliness are there just the same, even if you choose not to see them."

The woman continued, "Now, you want knowledge to do something that is not possible, and to help your friends. One of whom you have brutally killed to come here, and one who you have teased and then run away from when he really needed you. I hate to be rude, but I would not want to be your friend."

"My father...."Adele started, and then stopped.

"Why do you think that your father did not use this engine himself? The answer is, that he did, but got no further than you will. The first step in getting knowledge is knowledge of yourself. The men who built this engine used it as a device for deep meditation. But those who use it must be trained. Your father thought that if he could keep you and your friends encased in amber and pure, as it were, that he could use you to unlock the secrets of the engine, to go where he could not."

Adele said, "And I have failed there as well."

"And as for respect? Let me show you something. This corridor gets a little bleak after a while." The lady walked to the white recess, and nodded her head. The white stone disappeared. Adele looked out the window. She saw herself, with a silly smile on her face, hooked up to a machine, with her body lying in filth and insects.

The lady said, evenly, "That is what you have come to, Adele. How much respect should I show?"

Adele was beyond crying now. Punish her enemies and reward her friends indeed. Adele would have welcomed Elaine's catiness at this point. She now hated herself with more passion than she ever had against Elaine.

Adele said, "Conscience?"

The lady said, "That is as good a name as any. Now that you have had a little taste of wisdom, how do you feel?"

"Like I wish that I had never been born."

"Good. I may be hurt and might stink, but I am at least healthy enough to do my job. I am not going to let you take the easy way out, Adele. You are going to make amends as much as possible if I can find a few shreds of character in that silly little body of yours. It is time to grow up." The lady then added, "You didn't bring somebody along, to disconnect yourself from the engine? Didn't your father ever tell you about have a plan to back out before working with the unknown?"

Adele squeaked out, "No."

Conscience shook her head. "We are going to have a lot to talk about, Adele. And you have all the time in the world now."

Adele replied, "Time. Maybe that would do it. Could you take me back one day so that I don't do these horrible things? Please?"

Her conscience shook her head again, "Not a chance. The engine is not that simple."

Adele slumped in the chair and said, "Have I been damned? Is there no hope at all?"

The woman replied, "You have thrown away most of your opportunities. But you are still alive. There are three things that you might be able to do to salvage something of your life."

"Please."

"First, there are three lives that hang in the balance. Astra, Elaine, and Matthias. And possibly some others. When you leave here, you will have no more magical ability without that ring. I doubt that you will have the strength of character to use it properly, but the chance exists."

The news about Matthias being injured was yet another blow to Adele's image of herself. She said, "I did not mean to hurt Matthias. Ma'am, have I been able to do anything right?"

"Some of the small things, yes. You can be tactful and unselfish, when you are not obsessed with your father's mission. And these small things are the ones that count the most, because you will not ready to do the big things unless those become a habit. Anyway, if you can save Astra and Elaine from that lava, then you must submit yourself to judgment for what you have done. First among the people whose trust you have broken, and then among Sigin's people."

Adele nodded, accepting this. "Conscience, what is the third thing?"

1. "You must not practice magic, ever again, once the fates of Elaine, Matthias, and Astra are resolved."
2. "You must find a mentor, and serve him or her for seven years. Perhaps he or she can teach you the things that your father failed to do.

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