Couldn't Be a Reader

"Edward sparkled in the moonlight...'Is it later yet?' I asked significantly...word salad, word salad, WORD SALAD..."

The last thing Jasper sees is his vision going blood red as his body twitches involuntarily, sending the book into the magazine section. His head literally explodes a moment later, in a loud noise that gets the attention of almost everyone in or around the front end of Wal-Mart. Jasper's now headless body crashes to the floor.

Ten minutes later, several of Wal-Mart's maintenance crew shows up with their mops and buckets. Six of them see the mess and immediately say something along the lines of "No way. I'm not touching that!" They all turn around and push their carts to other parts of the store containing spills that don't have a lot of blood or brain matter, leaving the last one, a Woody Allen lookalike named Howard behind.

Howard isn't too pleased with being stuck with this cleanup, but he's already on thin ice with management as it is, mostly because they can't understand his neurotic behavior or his grating voice. Sighing heavily, Howard gets his mop out and gets to work...

1. Howard cleans everything up, and that includes disposing of Jasper's body.
2. Howard is caught by management, and fired. Associates aren't allowed to deal with anything like this, and they, by law, have to leave it to certified professionals.
3. Howard quits.
4. Meanwhile, Jasper finds himself in the afterlife.

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