Ennui, Thy Name is Sara

"I'm SOOOOO bored..." Sara moans to herself.

She wanders down the road beyond the corn wall, lost in ennui. She drags Jasper's strangled corpse behind her by the battery cable she used to throttle him with a few minutes before. His eyes bulge sightlessly from his blackened face.

"Boooooored...bored bored bored..." she mutters. She disinterestedly watches as a fly lights on Jasper's right eye, and continues trudging down the road in a haze of boredom and faint depression.

"I need something to break up the monotony. I need...jeez, I'm actually horny," she says to herself. She kicks the corpse. "Hey, Jasper?" she says. "Guess what? I've never been so horny in my life. Who'd a thunk that I'm into erotic asphyxiation? I've never even owned a friggin' dildo." She sighs.

1. Randy Newman sees her trudging by and writes a song about it.
2. She comes across an isolated farmhouse. Kewl, more people to strangle.
3. She wanders into town, more bored than she's ever been. She drags the corpse into a diner for some lunch..
4. She comes across a Polish guy with a chimp. She trades him Jasper's corpse for a bag of magical potatoes.
5. She tries to fashion Jasper's bones into a crude dildo.
6. Sara dies horribly, yet stupidly. The story resumes with Lord Magnus von Magnussen, gentleman adventurer-at-large.
7. Sara rounds a curve and finds the bestest party evar.

Add New Option

Go Back

View Forward Story Tree
View Back Story Tree