The Bringer of Chaos

"Down!" hisses Samson, and throws himself on the two of them. "Maybe he didn't see us!"

"Wait--we know this guy! He's kind of a fruitloop, but why in God's name does the government want him dead?" whispers Sara.

"You two have never heard of project MK=NIGHTMARE," whispers Samson. "A rogue government agency you've never heard of wanted to create some kind of super-psychic warrior who could bend the laws of reality around themselves like a black hole bends light. They had 128 volunteers they'd kidnapped off the street. Two of them survived. Unfortunately, neither of them can control it, even if they're aware of it, and they're both batshit crazy to boot."

"You mean that story he always told about being kidnapped by the CIA was true?" whispers Jasper. "He talked about them shooting heroin or something into his eye sockets once. If it's true, then I hope the bastards hurt when they died."

"They weren't Company anymore, and it wasn't heroin, it was some kind of gene-splicing serum. And I made sure they can't hurt anyone else ever again." Samson slides the biggest knife either of them have ever seen out of its sheath at his side. "If he comes in here, I'll try to cover your escape as long as I can."

"I don't understand--he's never hurt either of us!" says Sara. "Why are you people trying to kill him?"

"They're not aware of what they do, and they couldn't control it anyway. All they have to do is be in the area for insane things to start happening. Deadly things. And they've never been angry at you," says Samson grimly. "I was in Brussels when Burbank slipped through our dragnet. We'd cornered him in a supermarket but the windows and doors bricked themselves up spontaneously. When we finally got inside, half the people inside had turned into Lego statues, and the other half were live howler monkeys, and he'd escaped through a dimensional portal that had appeared in the bathroom. They don't call him the Chaos Bringer for nothing--"

"Oh hey guys, what's going on?"

Samson goes pale. Standing in front of them is Josh Burbank, still wearing a fruit hat, is Josh Burbank. "The back door was open. What the hell are you all doing on the floor?"

1. Samson leaps to his feet. "RUN! I'll hold him here!" he roars, and charges Josh with a knife
2. The Dallas Cowboys go running through the store...
3. ...on fire. And exploding.
4. ..and in the confusion, Samson, Jasper and Sara escape the store. "We need pickup, STAT!" roars Brock into his wrist communicator.
5. Samson is mobbed by a hundred six-inch-high versions of him that fall from holes in the ceiling.
6. Samson actually tries to keeps Josh calm.
7. The Monarch's henchmen attack the store in a frantic effort to keep Josh contained. Even supervillains are shit-scared of Josh and Scott.

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