The Chase

Suddenly, the door in front of the store slams open, and the man from the restroom emerges in a rolling wave of feculent stink that they can smell from a distance of 50 yards.

He's still the most obscenely fat man they've ever seen--hell, he looks as if he'd eaten both of the scooter-riding twins from the old Guiness Book of World Records article and had a desert of deep-fried whole buffalo as a followup--but astonishingly, he's actually MUCH thinner than he was when he went into the restroom. Sara googles. How the HELL could a human being move that much crap at once?

And then she notices the massive scattergun he's aiming at them. "Oh...SHIT," she and Jasper moan at the same time.

"What--" says Josh. He turns around to see what they're staring at, and his face goes pale. "Oh man...it's Chaingang. I thought I'd lost him back on Earth-1224!"

"GODDAMMIT, I GOT 'EM I GOT 'EM!' the fat guy bellows to no one in particular, and fires.

The three of them hit the ground, just barely ducking under the cloud of .00 buckshot. "You know this guy?" Jasper yells. They roll into the roadside ditch as more pellets whiz by overhead. The fat guy is running in their direction, far faster than a man of his enormous bulk should be able to move, screaming like a lunatic.

"Yeah! We gotta get out of here now!" screams Josh, as he drags them down the road.

1. They find a bunch of kids in go-karts a little ways down the road. They commandeer three of them in an effort to escape the murderous fat guy.
2. More monstrously fat people pour out of the store and give chase. They're armed with everything from rocket launchers to chainsaws.
3. Yeah, what the hell's the fat guy--I mean Chaingang's--problem, anyway?
4. Suddenly, fruit begins to rain from the sky. Somehow, this freaks Josh out even more.
5. Sara keeps checking to make sure that Josh--or at least his precious, precious kidneys--are safe. Can't be too careful, yanno.

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