It's a Boring Life

In boredom, Josh continues playing. World War Z is slightly less entertaining than watching rodents having sex, but marginally more entertaining than sitting in the Hummer and staring out at the impenetrable gray void outside.

He soon discovers several fascinating bugs. For instance, the game doesn't appear to have a "save" feature of any kind, and after the first chapter, the musical score consists of a four-second looped clip of a zombie's moan. When Josh tries to turn the sound down, he finds it impossible. The game is excrutiatingly slow, and it is impossible to complete chapter 2 with a perfect score, because the right button combination results in the game locking up. In Chapter 3, he finally discovers an option to change the camera's POV to look at something besides the diary. Josh attempts to look around the room, but soon discovers there's nothing else to see but four blank walls, a door with no way to open it, a locked and sealed wooden box, a poorly rendered picture of a cat and a chair. As there is no pause button, each look around resulted in hand cramps and errors which necessitate restarting the game from the beginning.

In chapter 4, attempts to change camera angles result in the game either crashing or the camera irreversibly locking onto the badly rendered wooden floor or the player's pixelated shoe. By that point, the game's sound consists of alternating screams, vomiting and shotgun blasts. Any attempt to change the volume simply results in it getting louder. Reading through the instruction manual shows that the game has 126 chapters.

1. Out of a perverse desire for self-punishment, Josh continues playing. What other bugs--err, *features*--does he find?
2. Josh finds and unlocks the "Desert Bus" bonus game!
3. Somewhere around Chapter 7, Josh finally finds an FPS mode. It's actually **more** infuriatingly pointless and sucky than the diary writing chapters.
4. He pulls out the cartridge and stomps it into itty bitty bits before setting it on fire and throwing it out into the void.
5. Josh tries the game labeled "Microsoft Paint Drying Simulator."
6. "Who the hell created this monstrosity, anyway???" asks Josh aloud. A magical journey through Development Hell commences!

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