Suicide is Painless

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 79255

"That's it. THAT'S IT!" you yell. "No more. No more weird room, no more crazy people. I'm fucking tired of this shit!"

Before anyone can stop you, you start taking long, slow, deep breaths. It's strangely relaxing. "What the heck are you doing?" asks Felina.

"I'm trying to kill myself."

"Uhhh..." she looks momentarily at a loss for words. You feel sorry for the fact that she's going to be alone in this insane place shortly "How?"

"Slow inhalation of oxygen. Oxygen's poisonous, you know."

"Right. Look, I'm not a biologist or a chemist or even a trained doctor, okay? But I'm pretty sure it's NOT, if for no other reason than because it's in the air all around us and we're breathing it every second."

You vaguely remember reading somewhere that oxygen was toxic under certain circumstances, though you never got further than administration in College, and you slept your way through high school science classes. Surely breathing a whole lot of it at once is deadly. "It is TOO poisonous, and I'll SHOW you."

You breathe in and out, slowly. Surely it's starting to take effect, because you're beginning to feel strangely sleepy and calm.

"Is he always like this?" asks the Caretaker.

"No--sometimes he gets really weird," says the skunkette.

  1. It doesn't work. You're pretty well stuck.
  2. Same as above, but you decide to try another suicide method.
  3. Somehow it DOES work. Felina and the Caretaker are pretty shocked.
  4. You fall into a deep, relaxing slumber. It didn't work, but at least you're feeling better.
  5. a pack of cantaloupes with feet run by.
  6. Interlude: Scott Chen appears, with a PSA about flan.

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7/23/2008 5:01:25 PM

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