The One-Stan Heimlich Maneuver

Fortunately, you know the One-Stan Heimlich.

Far, far away, thousands of miles away, in fact, a Blockbuster store clerk starts to cough.

"Whoah...dude, you okay?" asks the stoner waiting at the counter for service. Several people stand behind him with movies or video games, as apathetic and incurious as cows.

One Stan is too busy coughing to answer. He doubles over, gagging. He nearly vomits, and he finally brings up a foreign object-a small, slightly chewed action figure of the Baroness.

The crowd sees it and recoils at the sight of a grown man puking up bits of plastic toy. "Dude! What the hell is wrong with you?" the stoner says.

He can barely take a breath before he starts coughing again. In all, he brings up three complete action figures, and two more in pieces (he accidentally hits his boss in the eye with part of Baroness's stilleto-heeled thighboot while she was trying to help).

1. Everyone there, including his boss, thinks that One Stan was eating plastic toys and got choked. One Stan is fired for being a scary freak.
2. One Stan is committed against his will.
3. One Stan coughs up a complete new planet and solar system.
4. He falls to the floor, convulsing. You explode from One Stan's chest.

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