Semi-Automatic Chainsaw Gun

"Guys..what's that?" Jasper points.

Spinning in the air without any visible means of support over one corner of the overlook is what appears to be a shotgun with a serious case of the mumps.

He reaches into the air and gently touches the gun, and it stops spinning. He gingerly grips the hilt, and with a little effort, he tugs it free from the nothing it's apparently embedded in.

They gather around it curiously. There's a glowing readout on the side of the rifle that reads 300, and a clip in the rifle that's at least two feet long and nearly as wide.

Jasper hefts it carefully to his shoulder, sights at a huge tree on the other side of the parking lot, and squeezes the trigger. With a roar, the gun fires a running, spinning chainsaw at the tree. When the smoke clears, the tree is lying in pieces. The glowing indicator on the side of the huge rifle now reads 299.

"Whoah. I remember this from Unreal Tournament," says Josh.

1. They find other weapons and powerups in strange places nearby. They realize that this world is like a live-action version of a first-person shooter.
2. Josh punches Jasper in the crotch and steals the rifle.
3. One of this world's schizophrenics charges them with a chainsaw. Jasper shoots him in the head.
4. As their derangement is impressive, the authorities give them all chainsaw guns and promote them as Official Stalkers. Josh's first priority is to stalk Phoebe Cates and kill her pets with a machete..
5. What ELSE do they find around this place, along with spinning chainsaw guns?
6. A man selling drooling, spastic, deformed elves comes by.

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