The Prophecy of Extend-A-Story
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 77355
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“What’re you all doin’ here?” Lots shouted. The talking and the singing
came to an erupt halt as all of the authors’ heads turned towards Lots as
if he were a magnet. It’s silent for about two Mississippi seconds
before the crowd broke into mutters, gasps, and hisses. Lots was able to
make out a few sentences: “He’s here! How did we not see him come in?” “Hah! The fool came right to us.”“Let’s put the debate on hold for now, JH. We’ve got some business to take care of.” Finding none of these comments noteworthy, Lots continues: “Seriously, what in dragon’s crap are you all doin’ in my quest? And what is this place? Some sort of Writer’s pub? If so, why wasn’t I invited? And why aren’t you guys writing?!” He pointed specifically to the group by the karaoke machine.“Believe it or not, but some of us have social lives beyond extend-a- story.” said Ryu. “That joke’s so old, Ryu, I swear I just saw Jesus riding by a dinosaur. Also, Jesus wasn’t just steering the dinosaur, no, he was having himself some bread and wine which he had converted from blood and stones. And he wasn’t riding any old T-Rex or whatnot. He was riding a pterodactyl, soaring through the thin universe between the Milky Way and heaven. And this wasn’t just any normal pterodactyl. No, this was Terry, the king of all flying dinosaurs. Blessed by Jesus and his father themselves, who could fly at the speed of light and travel between worlds and universes. And these weren’t just any boring, generic, universes. Each of these worlds contained alternate dimensions, exactly like the type we have here at the Never-Ending-Story and the Black Void, where…”Unknown to Lots was that while he was rambling on about nonsense, all the other authors had been preoccupied with something else. About the time Lots had mentioned Jesus converting the bread and wine, everyone was looking at JH, all with a single question in their eyes. JH gave a long sigh, took a long drink of his wine, finishing it, took out a pen and paper pad, and wrote down: Let’s do this quick.Every writer who had been sitting down stood up, and as they did this, they took out their weapons: Lost Soldier and IB unsheathed their swords stolen from other episodes. MGS pulled out a Colt Magnum and began loading it, while ODS and Anableps did the same with other generic pistils. JH put down his paper pan and flipped a notched on his pen, turning the side opposite of the writing point into a needle. Noise Tank reached into his pockets, found a missile the size of a bullet, and inserted it into the opening in his forehead. TCO sniffed, wiped away his remaining tears and grabbed a steel knife from his pocket that he’d been role-playing with earlier. Ryu unsheathed two katanas that he always carried in his backpack, while ragan and Won-Tolla found themselves weaponless. Ryu noticed this, and cut the microphone cord the karaoke machine off, and then cut it into two. At first, the two were confused, but quickly realized where Ryu was coming from, and each took a piece, holding it so you could strangle somebody with it. Eric and Ben rummaged their pockets for weapons: Ben found the steak knife from the bar that he was stealing, but Eric couldn’t find anything. He scanned the room, searching for something that could be lethal. Then his eyes stopped on his empty bottle of Samuel Adams beer. He picked it up by the top and smashed it against the side of the table.The smash got Lot’s attention. “…the Never-Ending-Story and The Black Void, where---Hey, what was th---“ He suddenly saw the changes that had taken place around the room. He saw that everyone was holding a weapon in their hands. He saw that everyone was standing up and facing him. And he noticed their expressions: Some of them were angry, some were remorseful, but most were ready for action. “What’s going on?” Lot’s face then brightened. “Are we going to join the possible food fight down stairs?”JH sighed again. “I don’t know how to say tell you this Lots, so I’ll just say it.” “We’re going to kill you.” blurted out Anableps.Lots laughed. “Seriously though, what’s going on?” “I’m sorry to say he’s telling the truth Lots.” JH stepped forward. “Several days ago, Sir-Toby sent us some disturbing news. All of us received emails saying that you were one of the bearers of a Sealing Medallion, and that it had been destroyed.“I think you know what a Sealing Medallion is, Lots. You received one in episode 9981-or-3-or-something.” said Ryu. “Episode 19981 was the Medallion episode. Well, Traveler failed to mention the medallion’s purpose. It was a seal. One of many who’s power was used to keep the characters in the Never-Ending-Quest inside the Never-Ending-Story and out of our real world.“Oh.” said Lots. “Well, that is a shame, but you said there’re lots of these sealing medallions. So, is it really such a big deal that one was destroyed?---and it really wasn’t my fault…and not that I actually believe you’re gonna kill me, of course.” He laughed. “Well Lots, it’s a little more complicated than that. MGS, why don’t you explain why?MGS, who had been toying with his gun and only half listening, stepped forward. “Many years ago, when Sir-Toby had just created this web-site, Sir-Toby received a prophecy in his email box. It was long, repetitious, and very poorly written email, but it was understandable. To summarize it, it stated that one day in the year of 2008, the bearers of the Sealing Medallions would bring the down fall to the Seal on the Never- Ending-Quest, and release its characters from there world. “That’s you Lots. You were one of the bearers.” sniffed TCO, grabbing another tissue.Lot’s emotions were mixed: On his shoulders, a tiny demon and angel version of himself, invisible to the rest of the authors, were arguing. The Demon was telling him that the prophecy story was a load of crap and that his friends were trying to murder him out of jealously of his dashing good looks and quantity of episodes. The Angel was telling him that there was no falseness in his friends, and that whatever they were planning to do was probably for the best, if it kept this Seal from breaking. And from somewhere else, a voice was telling him that this is all an elaborate joke, that these are your friends, and they would never murder you. But that voice was pitiful and far away. “Well, even if that was a real prophecy, which I doubt it is, what does it have to do with me? I was never the bearer of the med---““Yes you were!” said IB. “When you accepted the medallion, its responsibility passed over to you. Therefore, by Sir-Toby’s laws, you became the new bearer.” This broke Lot’s calm. “What? That’s bullshit! I never knew that when I accepted it. And it was Zeus who destroyed it, not me. And I didn’t even know the rest of the medallions existed about a minute ago, so how could I’ve wanted to destroy them? And why do you even believe in that prophecy bullshit? I’ll bet it was sent from that diaper guy or some other troll.”JH shook his head. “It doesn’t matter whether you knew or not, who destroyed it, or whether you had prior knowledge of the medallions. You were a medallion bearer, so you pose a threat to Extend-a-Story. And as for the prophecy, we didn’t take it seriously at first either. But it’s all coming true: Many Sealing medallions are being destroyed, a majority by their bearers. And it’s all happening in 2008. It’s undeniable now, Lots. “Well, why does it matter if the Never-Ending-Quest characters come into our world?” Lots honestly didn’t care. He was just asking questions to gain some time to think of an escape plan. “Personally, I think it would be cool, to see all of these characters that we wrote about alive and in person.”“The problem is, once they’re out, they’re not gonna wanna go back in.” snapped ragan. “And even worse, we’ve created many uber-omega deux ex machina characters. Heck, just two episodes ago, we had Zeus and Final Fantasy summons. Can you imagine the kind of havoc that could cause in the world? We could very well top the bloody atom bomb with the crap we created.” “So basically,” Said JH, “We have two options. One, is to close the Never-Ending-Quest, so that the prophecy can never be fulfilled.” This was greeted by boos from all of the authors, even Lots. “Or, two, we can stop the prophecy in its tracks, and make sure it can never be completed.” He paused for a second, and then continued. And by any means necessary.”“Enough of this talk!” yelled Eric. “Every second we give him is another second the Never-Ending-Quest is in danger.” JH took his longest sigh yet. “Eric is right.” His voice was shaky when he said this and tears were beginning to roll down his cheeks, he said. “Let’s just get this over with.”Every melee weapon wielder started walking towards Lots while the gun wielders took aim. “I’m really sorry about this Lots. I swear to God, it’s nothing personal.” said Lost Soldier.“Same here.” said Ben. “Don’t worry, this’ll be painless.” “And it’s not really goodbye.” said Noise Tank, who seemed more upbeat than anybody. “We’ll see you again someday, in Never-Ending-Quest heaven. Or hell, whichever one we go to.”Lots became wet all over, both from sweat and his own urine. He was now a fugitive in a place a once called home by people whom he once called friends. The bullets from MGS, ODS, and Anebleps and the missle from Noise Tank go off...
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Noise Tank (Check this episode out, lots42.
5/25/2008 6:36:53 PM
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