A Self Called Nowhere

For those unfamiliar, and until his full story is posted here someday, here's your Steve Thomas primer:

Steve's problems in school were a great source of embarrassment for his mom and dad, as well as his younger sister Melanie, whose own reputation was suffering just by being related to Steve. Richard and Mary were workaholics who really did not understand why Steve was turning out the way he was. Being called out of an important meeting to go pick up Steve from school earlier after he had gotten kicked out of school yet again understandably caused his parents great aggravation. The whispering from their employees and colleagues at work about Steve also didn't help matters a bit.

Following the massacre at Columbine High School in 1999, many schools began to establish hastily written "zero tolerance" policies concerning violence, or other serious issues. An ongoing issue with a former flame and many of her friends finally boiled over after the Colorado murders, and an 18 year old Steve Thomas found himself kicked out of high school for good. After meeting with the Thomas family a few times, an agreement was reached, and Steve would be considered graduated with the rest of the school as long as he never set foot in or near the school ever again. Melanie was also withdrawn from school at the administration's request.

Even though there was clear evidence that the school acted a little too eager to ban Steve (his school file was literally an inch thick), and the Thomas family would have been justified in filing suit against the school board, it didn't happen. Instead, Steve's father decided that Steve needed to go, and the sooner the better. Steve found out that he couldn't even make small talk with his parents without his father cutting in with some sarcastic remark about moving out. Richard and Mary had some pretty serious arguments about it over the next few weeks, and Steve's mother, while upset and disappointed about Steve getting kicked out of school permanently, didn't agree with her husband's stance that Steve was no longer welcome in the Thomas home.

Finally, the day before he was supposed to graduate with the rest of his classmates, Steve and his father had a huge argument in the kitchen. Steve accused his dad of caring more about money than his kids, and Richard insinuated that Steve only acted the way he did because he was "a childish ingrate" who was still unhappy over a few childhood traumas. After storming upstairs, leaving his dad ranting at his mom and sister, Steve decided that if his dad wanted him out, then by god, he was leaving. Using a dart thrown at a large map of the United States, Steve decided to move to Minnesota, specifically a suburb of either Minneapolis or St. Paul.

Money wasn't an issue. After Steve turned eighteen, it was agreed that he had full access to all of the money in the bank earmarked for him by his parents in the form of trust funds and savings accounts. While Richard and Mary seemed pretty distant emotionally when it came to their two kids, they did set aside literally millions of dollars for Steve and Melanie. At eighteen, Steve had access to nearly one hundred million dollars. The problem was, he had no idea how he could buy a house in Minnesota. Surely if some kid paid for a pretty nice suburban house with handfuls of cash, the real estate agents would be pretty suspicious, wouldn't they?

Steve called one of his family's attorneys, a man named Alan Dunham. Steve and Alan always got along really well, and sometimes, he felt closer to the attorney than his own parents. After explaining the situation to Dunham, Steve outlined his plan to leave for Minnesota "indefinitely", and admitted he needed a little help in buying a new house and "possibly a couple of new cars". Oh, did he mention that he was going to take his leave while his folks and sister were taking a month-long cruise in July? Dunham listened to everything, and while he told Steve that he probably would've handled the situation differently if he were in Steve's position, he would help Steve escape Maryland for the Midwest.

Three days later, Steve had a house waiting for him in a suburb called Eden Prairie. He also set up some bank accounts in Minnesota. All he needed to do was wait for his parents and Melanie to leave, so he could escape.

July 2nd, 1999: Just two days after the rest of his family left, Steve hired a moving van, packed up everything he owned, wrote a note to his family saying he was out of there, and hit the road. While he was a little hesitant to think about how his mother was going to take things, Steve really didn't care too much. At least he had a place to go, even if it was in a strange place a thousand miles away. Besides, this is what his goddamn father wanted!

Ten days after leaving, Steve was settled into his new three-bedroom home in the suburbs. He wrote his parents a letter explaining that he had taken his money, which he had full access to after he turned eighteen, and he had started his new life in Minnesota with a lot of help from Alan Dunham. Steve included his new contact information in the letter, mailed it off, and went on a spending spree to furnish his new home, buying furniture, decor, and whatever else he needed, and a lot of things he probably didn't need.

As expected, Steve's folks were incensed at the way he left, mostly because he left the family mansion unattended for most of July, making it pretty hard for the maids, caretakers, and gardeners to get in and out whenever they needed. Richard in particular was furious that Steve, in his eyes, had taken all of that money and was probably "partying" with it. Whatever, thought Steve. He and his father didn't really speak for the next five years. He kept in touch only with his mother during that time, even though she was angry and hurt with the way that Steve moved out. Melanie quit school just before graduation and started hanging around with rock bands. She seemingly vanished from the face of the earth midway through 2004 after barely keeping in touch with her mom and dad (and none at all with Steve, who she considered an even bigger embarrassment than her parents).

So, for the past eight years, Steve Thomas has quietly lived in Minnesota, keeping his heritage and his fortune a secret. Sure, it was awkward to explain how an 18-year-old managed to buy and own a house that cost a quarter of a million dollars in 1999, but as long as his neighbors didn't ask too many questions, Steve didn't mind. He usually worked part-time jobs more out of avoiding boredom, and to meet new people. In 2001, he talked Tori, his last high school girlfriend, to move in with him after she experienced some serious family issues. She agreed, and stayed with him until summer of 2006, when she returned to the east coast. Since then, Steve's been engaging in a few short term relationships, but he's not ready to commit just yet.

1. Steve and Scott fight.
2. Scott rants about how annoyed he is that this episode was far more about Steve than him.
3. Scott explains how he was the true mastermind behind Steve's expulsion from school.
4. Something else.

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