Carrot cheesecake

"Ja, das bin ich," Fred enunciated impressively. Or rather, it would have been impressive if anyone in earshot had known German. For all Brin knew he was speaking total nonsense.

"Then perhaps you can translate this for me," she uttered softly as she to Fred's surprise stood up and started taking off her blouse.

"Oh, that just means you crave male attention," Fred said hastily.

Brin giggled as she leaned forward to fill Fred's field of vision with her... *ahem* "Not that, silly! I meant this."

Fred was almost too busy taking in the central part of the view to notice what Brin was pointing at: A line of oddly shaped characters that appeared to be tattooed across the top of her chest.

"How did you get... this?" he asked absentmindedly.

"Oh, they just started growing when I hit puberty."

"I... meant the tattoo."

"I don't know. I was human once, but one day I woke up like this, and then I had this tattoo."

"I see," muttered Fred, expecting the Gods of Decency to strike him with blindness any moment. "Well, that's Allarian Cobbler Script. It says 'Do not Translate Under Pain Of Death'...

"Oh bugger."

1. Pain of Death
2. Painful Death
3. Pain
4. Death
5. Taxes
6. Fred has a manga style nosebleed
7. Several men jump Brin
8. Several women clobber the narrator
9. Someone turns out the lights
10. Someone turns in the heavies

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