Shall We Take Ourselves Seriously?

"Maw," you say after a long pause.

Having spent many evenings ranting about your mother while downing brewskis with Gerbil, your best friend and neighbor is well aware of just how evil Maw is.

"Gerbil, she's out there somewhere," you continue. "She might have brought me into the world, but I have to take her out once and for all. Everything wrong in the world right now is because of Maw. She knew damn well that once she destroyed Christmas, the rest of society would follow. I've got to stop her before she can go any farther."

There's another long pause, and Gerbil finally speaks. "You need help?"

You think about this for a moment. "Gerbil, I thought you'd never ask!" you say with a smile.

1. After extensive preparations, you and Gerbil begin hunting for Maw.
2. The two of you immediately embark on your quest to kill Maw.
3. Suddenly, Maw rises from wreckage in the distance. She has grown to immense size.
4. There's a massive explosion nearby. Maw strikes again!
5. You and Gerbil find yourselves making out on the roof. Oddly enough, neither one of you find this that bizarre...

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