Fifth Second of Forever

"You've gotta be kidding me," the dispatcher replies. "Listen sir, please don't tie up the lines for getting hit in the stomach with an ice cream cake! There are people out there who probably need help, and we don't have time to deal with these pranks!"
"No, no, please send help! It's an emergency!" pleads Scott.

A while later, a team of poorly trained paramedics arrive on the scene. The lead paramedic is also overly dramatic, and seems to go into hysterics at every opportunity:
"NO, WE'RE NOT GONNA LOSE YOU, SIR! HANG IN THERE, WE'LL GET YOU TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM!!" he bellows.

Two paramedics bumble their way out of the ambulance, dropping tools and medicines all over the floor. Two more paramedics are too busy bullshitting with the ambulance driver.

1. Scott is rushed to the hospital.
2. Scott is rushed to a very lousy healthcare center.
3. Josh begins gobbling as many pills as he can get his hands on.
4. Suddenly...ninjas.

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