What's the holdup? Uh, well....(part 1)

Asuka

"Hey, I gotta make a tiiiinklllle!" a young and sweet four year old girl singsongs, and then giggles as she and Wondergirl junior . . .

AAARGHH!

REI! I mean REI!

Shit, I am GOING to break myself of this habit even if it kills me! And I am NOT going to have that . . . that fire breathing Victorian father of Rei . . .Reika or whatever she's calling herself NOW give me the third degree again!! That and I'm not going to make a complete and utter fool of myself yet AGAIN in front of everyone, damnit!!

. . .

Damnit, I had just heard of her real life. How fucked up it is and I go and . . .

. . .

I hate myself. I really do...letting stress trick me into bad habits of pushing others away, damnit.

I try to be strong. Try to be able to live by myself and for myself and I'm the most pathetic person that ever . . .

. . .

Pull yourself together Asuka and stop sniveling!! Good God, your older self was right. She needed therapy and kinda implied that it would do ME a world of good even though my mother is back and . . .

Oh good God, what a frelled up mess....

!

And that's another thing! Where in the hell did I start using that damn word from that gray skinned hussy?!

I think I'll go and see a shrink as soon as I get a chance because I'm going to need one after this latest . . . incident. We'd been just wrapping up things and that Author creep shows up (all Gothed out, pleeeze) and suddenly we're HERE inside the Geofront, the heart of NERV HQ for Japan. And I'm not alone...

Don't ever remember THIS part of the Geofront and a lot of the other NERV people that had gotten swept along with me here had not either, but THAT is only by the by after I and the other had gotten to recognizing that point (after recovering from the vertigo of being teleported HERE) when . . .

. . .

It was a person who looked rather LIKE me, but with differences (had honey blonde hair instead of red hair but otherwise my mirror image)! She was dressed in a plugsuit, anyway, this girl. I know that she was (and still IS) a doppleganger of ME because I had the same weird feeling of kinship with HER as I'd gone and got with big sis over there. However, while I'd noticed her I cannot say that at first she'd noticed ME or anything else but something way above her that only SHE could see. http://www. evamade .net/e107 _plugins /kig_ menu/ _imagefiles /asuka_ with_ eye_ bleeding _copy 1.jpg

The look in her remaining eye (the other one had been covered by her hand . . .which had BLOOD dripping from between the fingers) . . .

Madness of battle was within and . . .

God, did I ever have that look on my face when I went into combat with Angels?

Later, I will learn from Elrondir himself that he had (mentally?) sent a rather harsh but direct command to some of those Star Trek pukes who'd appeared next to that little blue haired girl who's a younger version of the First Child I'd come to know (and misunderstand all this time). He'd said to keep her AWAY from this because this was going to be ugly. Wanted to spare the little girl the upset, you see.

. . .

This is insane! Being saddled with a little four year old and having to take her into what could only be a VERY dangerous situation after situation . . . . this Author from Game 3 is a real ASSHOLE!

Whatever he'd done there, he'd also put up some kind of . .. . mystical barrier or something that kind of warded us off from trying to go over and TOUCH my twin. Sure know that I had a creeping dread about going over there, let me tell you!!

I come to those conclusions later. Meanwhile (as it were)...

"The End of Evangelion," Elrondir had whispered, looking a bit aghast as my twin (obviously injured from whatever) started to reach up with a shaking hand to the skies as if trying to touch (or HARM) her attackers.

"Kill you....kill you . . . kill you," my twin whispered over and over again, until . . .

. . .

I think what Elrondir had been expecting was some kind of killing blow, and a MESSY one at that. Why else did he try to shield the four year old Rei (Rei I) from this? I had heard some muttering from him and gestures directed MY way, and in refection I figure that he'd been trying to block MY view of an impending death scene that OBVIOUSLY he feared would have . . . .unhinged me permanently.

. . .

Some other time I may have taken issue about his lack of faith in my mental fortitude, but everything given . . . he may have had a valid fear there.

The spell failed, whatever it had been, and I witnessed instead of a death scene . . .something else.

Still looking and reach upwards, a look of supreme surprise crossed my twins face before a white fog surrounded her form. Could barely make it out the figure within. It seemed, however, that the plugsuit had been in the process of morphing into . . .what looked like . . . a frilly dress? That and my twin within seemed to be . . . shrinking.

Then the fog cleared and what was there instead was . . . a young (uninjured) girl. The way I looked (if you discount the strawberry blonde hair) at age four! Right around the time. . .

Around the time the empty but still living soulless body of my mother had . . .had . . .

It . . . hadn't been really Momma I'd found, Asuka...

. . .

The young girl blinked, lowering her hand and looked about, still not seeing us but clearly confused as to what she'd been reaching for.

"Mommy?" she blinked, looking about before finally noticing ME staring at her.

"Uh . . .do I know you?" she blinks, suddenly grinning a little bit. "And have you seen where my Mommy is?"

A shout of surprise (from that one guy, Fred Takhashi or whatever) from behind some bushes followed by a scuffing sound. Then a yelp of surprise (and dismay) from a female voice.

"Don't EVEN try doing that in front of me!" Fred shouts angrily, over the startled voice of another woman.

OH God, I recognize that voice. I mean, yeah. I got her back after being stuck so long inside my EVA (and I'd been using it . . . and her like some doll . . .oh God).

But it's not MY mother's voice I'm hearing. She is coming up to this place (quickly) from off in the distance, having spotted me. So that means . . .

I hear Elrondir say something (I believe he'd actually cursed in "Elvish" or whatever) and just pointed then off to the side at some bushes.

A rather bewildered looking woman dressed in a muddy hospital gown shuffles out from behind the bushes, glancing down in confusion at a red haired rag doll rag doll? She looks . .. out of it, whatever the case. Fred has a firm hand on her shoulder, steering her.

I'd looked at that face and . . .

. . .

Fred had stopped her! Actually STOPPED her from hanging herself! The analog of my mother didn't hang herself because of him.

. . .

Correction, I'd thought at the time. He had not stopped the empty living husk of the analog of my mother from hanging herself!! At the time, I'd thought that perhaps it would have been . . .kinder to let it have happened.

But then I'd berated myself, remembering just who'd probably stumble across it.

"T-this isn't my daughter," the gown wearing woman had whispers, shaking her head as if to ask herself how she could ever have thought that. "Oh my god, what was I thinking?"

She then looks up and spots what I know is her real daughter and drops the doll onto the ground.

1. "Asuka?" she whispered....and the rest was a Kodak moment.

Add New Option

Go Back

View Forward Story Tree
View Back Story Tree