You cannot go home again . . . or can you?

Rei

"Rei, are you really feeling up to going back to something like that?" Mina asks, when I show it to her and the others. "Yes, it is your choice, but still it is not exactly, well . . ."

She pauses, not sure how to articulate what she wishes to say without appearing to be overly protective of me. But the truth is that she IS just being a mother, I see. Sigh, it is VERY odd that I should have obtained one at age fourteen, me a girl who'd been created and not born. Nice. Mothers and fathers--good ones--protect their young. Even IF her daughter is adopted. Even IF her daughter has wonderful blue wings coming from her back. Mina's my mother now and Allan my father. Strange that a mated pair of Oriental dragons should have adopted a winged young girl, but they DID. I did not ask for this but they gave freely.

Pardon me for a moment if I seem to go off on a tangent, but bear with me. Yes, At first this next part might seem to be needless but I promise it shall reveal the crux of Mina's issue with the Quest I've chosen. See, she sees the issue is one Gendo Ikari. He is to me what Dracula had been to Mina, but more so!

Count Dracula may have been a monster, but even HE had not set off to do what Gendo Akari had attempted to do . . . through me. This is still a bit . . .difficult so bear with me. It just illustrates the obstacles before us all in our Quest. Kind of . . . fleshes it out to give you better understanding.

As for mother, she is remembering the one who hurt me so: Gendo. Even though he'd given me life, it was for only one purpose. The one who gave me life, of course, is one Gendo Ikari. At one time I might have even considered him something of a father (a cool and distant one), but HE is unworthy of that title. Hell, he even abandoned his only son for a decade to better concentrate on his grande and great schemes and . . .THAT is yet another reason why I shall never totally forgive him.

Mother is trying to protect me from being hurt, again. From the cruelty that he would inflict on me if he ever could get his hands on his "doll" who'd dare disobey him. Betray him by telling secrets that he wished to remain secrets. Betrayed him (and rightfully so!) to the ones who would bring him to justice for the crimes he had done . . . in the name of love for one Yui Akari.

That is the ONLY redeeming feature of this whole . . . fiasco: love for Yui. He would let the world burn just to be with her again and perhaps for a romantic novel a nice sentiment, the reality is a frightening (and sickening) afair. It was to ME, anyway. I was created to help . . . end the human race as it was, erasing all mental boundaries between humans to create some kind of group mind, in a sense FORCING God's hand. It was to be the NEXT step in evolution, I'm told by Elrondir that had been the bottom line for it. Forced evolution . . .which in a way may be saying that this Instrumentality Project was meant (in the end) to force God's hand in uplifting us to a higher plane. Or perhaps I should say that they were playing God by their actions, deciding FOR others what is the best course of action for the entirety of the human race!

Arrogance. Even IF you do not believe in a higher power, how does any sane man think they should play God like that!?

And now I'm not totally convinced that it was justified by the excuses I'd been told of, you know? Yes, perhaps IF all other options had been attempted then I could see a need to do such a thing. Extinction is such a . . . permanent thing. Thankfully, that was no longer needed or even viable for the Tokyo 3 I'd left behind AND we had given a gift that could REALLY erase any excuse for it's need by Gendo IF he should somehow wiggle out from the checkmate we'd done him. He'd become obsessed, using anything and everything (and sacrificing a lot of his own humanity) in the process and I DO hope that the authorities put him . . . I hope that they do the correct thing.

It still angers me even to this day and a small, vindictive side within me (a very un-Christian side. . . a dark side) that hope that he BURNS IN HELL for what he'd done to me and Shinji! No, do not look surprised at me for having said this. I am just thankful that I've come around and healed enough to not have been consumed with hatred for the man. I'm . . .trying to forgive that . . . misguided man, but . . . it is so hard.

Oh yes, I'm still have issues with that man himself BUT that said. I'm not going to let HIM drive me away from a Quest I know that I can so much easier accomplish (at least part of it) with prior knowledge.

I mean, after all, the old "subject matter" experts Betty and Ragan had helped carry the day with their "TV show" knowledge, imagine what I and Elrondir can do? He has his TV knowledge and I have knowledge of things that happened OFF camera.

"Mother, he is not going to be a factor in this Quest," I say softly. "If he should BE there, somewhere and tries to get in my . . . our way then we shall simply deal with him in an appropriate manner, ne? However, he shall not block me from doing what needs to be done here."

The puppet master known as Gendo Akari will never pull my strings and will regret it if he (or his analog, considering that this cannot be the home I'd left) attempts it. AND he better not try to stop me from at least talking with my counterpart there. I . . . owe her the attempt, at least.

That said, though, I'm more concerned with that shadowy organization that was behind NERV and Gendo Akari: SEELE. Not exactly sure how we shall be able to overcome them . . . maybe win them over, perhaps somehow? Convince them that Instrumentality is NOT the way to go?

Track each member down and . . .slap some sense into them?!

I ask the others what might be the best way (Aslan all the while awaiting patiently for my final word on this Quest decision). He doesn't even blink at what comes from one of the quarters of the family with . . . a history in the business of shadows.

"Disclosure," Elrondir says softly. "Full and complete disclosure TO all out there connected to what passes for the Internet on that world. To all the world, letting them ALL know at who's feet the blame for Second Impact lay. Doing it in such a way that will NOT lead to those not directly INVOLVED with SEELE to getting lynched, no innocents. Just put those who orchestrated things for their own dark designs in a pickle. If they're smart, they'll turn themselves in to the authorities before the ravening mobs get to them. If not . . ?"

He shakes his head slightly and says nothing. Nothing really needs saying, I guess except we are basically stomping upon THEM before they can stomp upon us. No talk about blackmailing SEELE into compliance. It would backfire on us with those serpents.

No, we better put THEM out of the way before we're put out of the way. That is IF things where we shall be going are anything like the world I had left. Mustn't jump to conclusions . . .just making contingency plans, that's all.

Contingencies . . . like how to get assassination attempts to halt, that sort of thing. Then again, this might be all for naught. Might even prove to be nothing but paranoia on our part. Hey, it might even be that what we're heading into here is that light hearted version of the story my reality reflects.

Angelic Days wasn't it? Must ask Elrondir, sometime.

"Let us hope it does not come to that," Allan says softly, meanwhile. "Frankly I am NOT comfortable with this line of discussion. It seems so . . . dirty. And do we even KNOW if this place is really anything like . . ."

"Oh, it is at that, dear ones," Aslan says softly, a touch of melancholy in his majestic voice. "It is. One In fact, it is as Rei's world would have been if certain . . . people hadn't come into her life at certain important times: your group and Fred Takahashi. The other is something of an aftermath of sorts, made possible in part because of your kind actions taken 4 years ago this world's calendar, 20 years ago the good spaceship Dawntreader's calendar."

The last part has a slight grin, being that he knows about how his Narnia would have turned out if not for Game 3 interference, causing things to veer well away from C.S. Lewis' storyline.

. . .

Wait a minute, did I just hear him say what I think he had said?!

"You . . . mean the reality were I had the Rule make a copy of the FTL data and deliver it there?" I asks softly, holding my breath.

No, it couldn't be that one. You can't go home again as a Champion, they'd told me that. But if not that then . . .oh shit.

"You mean the world where Tokyo 3 got thrown into . . . don't you?" I say softly.

"Yes and old friends and faces shall be seen again," Aslan nods. "Not the faces of analog of old friends and associates . . .but the actual people."

1. Heh, like you need to ask me on whether or not I was going to NOT take this Quest after THAT little bombshell?! You couldn't KEEP me away!

Add New Option

Go Back

View Forward Story Tree
View Back Story Tree