Fred: Weapons Monthly Caption Writer

Fred neatly sums up the pros and cons of the latest semi-automatic assault rifle with "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAK !!!!!!!!!???"

The debate as to whether the Army should invest in more surface to air missiles is succinctly encapsulated as "NONONONOOOOOOAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR"

Fred is soon the highest-paid headline writer in the entire weapons magazine industry - his headlines are syndicated to 128 publications in 17 countries. It almost seems too good to be true . . .

And it is. Fred is eventually fired when it is discovered

1. his pet cat Uzi has been "writing" his headlines for him by sleeping on his keyboard
2. he is a member of the NRA
3. that he hasn't returned any of the weapons he's been "testing" over the past 8 months

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