Losing Streak
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 53769
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"Shit, I aint goin' out like that," Josh avows in front of the motley
gathering of supervisors. They don't seem to notice. Either that or they
just don't care. The latter is probably the case. Seems all the therapy
and jail time haven't done Josh any good whatsoever -- big surprise
there. So much for 'reformation'. The thing is, the write up wasn't even that severe. It's not like he was getting fired. But none of that matters to Josh. "Cause I'm a gangsta," the windy, big-headed moron continues fuming as he makes his way to the nearest Wal Mart. "I'm a gangsta, and a gangsta aint goin' out like that. Hell nah." Ever since he started playing that new '50 Cent' game for X Box he'd been acting like this.Josh finds some hidden dynamite in the sub cellar but unfortunately it's become so unstable over time that it would be too dangerous to handle it. How does Josh know this? Experience. He knows from experience. There's a reason he's missing an arm, several fingers, and both of his legs. So Josh does what any reasonable person in his situation would do...he goes to Wal Mart.Soon enough he comes to that magical bastion of capitalism we call Wal Mart, standing there before him in all of it's capitalistic glory. He valiantly enters it's hallowed innards and makes his way to Sporting Goods. He marches right up to the salesclerk and slams five crisp new $100 bills on the counter. "Yo, fool," he blurts out arrogantly. "Gimme all the dynamite that Five bills will get me. And hook it up for a brotha, you feel me?" The salesclerk, a bitterly hostile Samoan with a missing nipple, eyes him with withering suspicion and frowns. "Why do you need TNT?" he asks him after a reserved silence. Josh stares ahead blankly and drools a little. "Uhh, to blow up my place of employment..." he says, bumbling out the words before he can think about what he's saying. "I mean," he recovers an instant later, "I need it to blow up some moles in my cornfield. Yo, I be slangin dat corn, you know what I'm sayin? I'm just doin' my thang, homie."The Samoan glares at him scathingly but eventually lets out a passionless sigh. "Alright," he says bluntly. "There's nothing I can do, there's Republicans in the White House. You're just gonna have to sign a few papers and wait a couple weeks to receive your order." Josh is outraged. "Two weeks!? TWO WEEKS!? This some kinda joke!?" He flies into a rage, kicking a nearby pole with all his might. "OW!!!! SHIT!!! THAT POLE IS #@$&IN' HARD!"The salescklerk just shakes his head and goes back to the happy place in his mind where unicorns prance about, the place that allows him some measure of sanity after working 8 hours under the blaring lights of a Wal Mart for .25 cents an hour. Josh ignores the pain for the moment and turns his attention back to the Samoan. "Yo, I said I wanted $500 worth mother @!#%in dynamite! I aint done said nothin' 'bout no mother @#*&in TWO WEEKS!"The salesclark yawns. "Are you going to sign the papers, or what?" Josh decides he'll:
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That's Our Josh!
11/23/2005 1:35:52 PM
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