Green Goblin, Blue Blazes. Enough alliteration already!

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 50778

Emotionally unstable as he was, Josh Burbank burst into tears at the Goblin 's words. Of course the tear gas from some of the supervillain's bombs may have had something to do with it as well. The last, in fact the only other, person he had heard uttering such rude words so politely, was his dear old uncle Ben.
No, not Peter's uncle, and not Mr. Urich either, though he is probably old enough to be an uncle as well. This was Josh's uncle, Ben Burbank or something...

"I said enough alliteration already!"

Sorry. Josh's uncle Ben Anything-but-Burbank had been a jolly old man who, in addition to his ability to be rudely polite and politely rude, had be(e)n so fat and round that the children - Josh included - had found great delight in running around him at the family's annual Christmas parties. They had called it "going around the Ben", and ironically enough they all stayed straight except for Josh, who even more ironically didn't actually go around the bend until his uncle died several years later.

Thinking of sweet old uncle Ben - who for some reason used sugar water as cologne, so he actually tasted like candy when they kissed him - made Josh cry even more.

  1. The Green Goblin starts crying too and has to take off his mask. Nobody recognizes him.
  2. The Green Goblin starts crying too and has to take off his mask. Everybody recognizes him. (Well, except for Josh who is blinded by tears.)
  3. At a loss for words, the Green Goblin pats Josh on the back and says helplessly, "There there." Okay, that's one word., so sue me.
  4. Josh's profusely flowing tears short circuit the computer network. And they laughed at Ben Urich when he suggested storing the old typewriters in the attic.
  5. Ignoring the chapter title, Jolly J.Jonah Jameson emerges from his smoky office to alliterate some more.
  6. Josh wipes his tears, wrings out his handkerchief and starts running around Ben Urich. It just isn't the same.
  7. Scott Chen comes out of the closet. Literally. Someone still feels compelled to make the obvious joke.
  8. There is a crossover involving Wolverine and the Punisher, which surprises noone.
  9. Against all odds, the Goblin reveals that he had an uncle Ben too. Peter wonders if it's something going around, and dares Josh and Goby to tell him their uncles were killed by burglars too.
  10. Josh recalls that his uncle used to attract flies in the summer. Eeeeew.

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4/19/2009 7:15:03 AM

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