I Killed the Cat When the Moon Was Full
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 47994
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“Why that’s simple, you idiot,” everyone’s mother says offhandedly. “The
author of the previous episode was Ben McClellan and he writes all his
stuff like that! I think the only vague recollection I have of the titles
relating to the actual episode in some kind of sane and meaningful way
was the one he wrote about those dancing potatoes and that drug-addicted
leprechaun...” Josh clears his throat loudly and announces he stopped
actually listening to our mother’s inane drivel all the way back at ‘you
idiot’.” Mom must have earwax build-up or something ‘cause she just keeps on a’rambling on. Josh looks at a heretofore unnoticed camera and shrugs as from somewhere an audience bursts into forced applause and then even more forced laughter. Just then a tall black man, dressed in an orange polyester suit with a fancy orange plumed hat adorning his cranium, walks into the chamber with a lazy swagger in his step and an mischievous glint in his eyes. It’s dad! The audience goes into another chorus of laugher and projectile vomiting. “What’s the haps, junior!” he exclaims, twirling in place and then extending a limp hand. “Gimme some skin, dig?”Josh looks hesitant but reluctantly reaches into his pockets and retrieves his pocket knife. “If I must,” he says solemnly, then begins cutting away the skin on his left forearm. After several painful minutes he gingerly hands over a big chunk of bloody skin. His dad cackles, exposing his bright golden teeth. “Son, you crazy.”Josh can’t help but smile, despite the horrible agony he’s going through. “But not as crazy as her!” he counters, pointing at everyone’s mom as she talks to the wall. “You crackers are outta your damn minds!” Josh’s dad raves. “I think I’m gonna have to make like a rock and roll on outta here. Just remember son - you can beat your meat and you can beat your friends....but don’t beat your friends meat!”Josh and the audience laugh together. His dad lowers the stylish shades covering his eyes and makes a stern face. “I’m serious,” he insists. “Don’t you be beating another man’s meat, you hear?” Josh just throws his hands up and surrenders to his dad’s silly antics. “I gotchya, daddio.”His dad nods approvingly and “Cool,” he says. He twirls back around and meanders his way the hell out of there. Josh sighs and mulls over his pitiful options...
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Lost Soldier
1/6/2005 7:24:38 AM
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