Just Some Good Ol' Country Boobs
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 47619
|
Back at the drawing board... Fred, tied to a stalagmite once again and Astra, pouting over in a corner, rejoin you in what you like to call the ‘board room’, as it kinda makes you feel like Donald Trump. You’re always doing that - trying to be something you aren’t. “Of course the lyrics were horrible,” Fred is babbling excitedly. “But the ‘presentation’ - by yours truly - is what won him over. He just loved the way I made the words flow, even with Boobs getting in the way and shaking what her mother gave her.”“None of that matters,” you correct him. “It only kept us alive a little while longer. And now we have to work on our next act.” “I don’t know if I can keep this up much longer,” the princess laments in her all-too-familiar nagging fashion. “I’ve been slaving away to appease that over-sized lizard for the better part of a month now.”“Regardless,” you say, “we’ve got to keep this up a little longer. Eventually he’ll tire out and we can kill him in his sleep.” You clear your throat and point to the board. “Now, here’s what I’ve devised. It’s a song called ‘Honky-Tonk Boobs’. The Dragon was kind enough to lend us a guitar and some cowboy hats, though where he managed to find them is beyond me.” Astra spits in disgust. “‘Honky-Tonk Boobs’!?” she reels. “Isn’t that a little passe?”You shrug. “This entire thread was passe twenty episodes ago. We’re well beyond passe now, my dear princess.” “Well do you even know how to play the guitar!?” she asks you doubtfully. You nod. “A little bit, yes. I might have to improvise a little, but that’s fine. So anyway, the song should contain at least a few vague references to a broke-down pick-up truck, a tear in a beer (or maybe, if we’re feeling lucky, a tear in a whisky), a dead dog, and a Wal-Mart.”“And boobs!” Fred chimes in. “Yes, Fred,” you agree. “And boobs. Plenty of overt references to boobs. Now this act is going to call on all three of us to sing together...”“Can I at least wear Fred’s discarded armor!?” Astra interrupts you. “Shhh,” you say, placing a finger on her lips. “Now is not the time for joking around. We’ve got real work to do.” “I’m not joking...”“Not funny, princess. Seriously, quit clowning us. Okay, we need to work on our accents. You both are going to need to learn some ‘country twang’. For instance, you wouldn’t say ‘Hello, my name is Boobs and I like to sleep with my cousin over on the hill’. You WOULD say ‘Howdy, name’s Boobs an’ ah lak tuh sleep with muh cuzin o’er un tha hill, ya’ll. Yee haw!’. Got it?” After a few practice rounds, they begin to master the art of ‘country grammar’.
|
Lost Soldier
12/12/2004 2:04:31 PM
Linking Enabled
Extending Enabled
24935590 episodes viewed since 9/30/2002 1:22:06 PM.