Meet Joe
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 46929
|
Joe, the misplaced televangelist was currently in the midst of
his ‘sermon’. Let’s listen, shall we? Shhh. Don’t answer... “And the Lord said to His faithful servant Mishnaziel as he stood on the hill of Bel-Agazorithibialahar, overlooking the valley of Havvoth-En-Beth-Bara; “Go ye therefore into the valley, and killeth thee all of the people therein; every man, woman, child, donkey, chicken, dog, cow, hamster, kitten, dust mite...” And Mishnaziel did sayeth unto God; “I get the point, just get on with it already, dude.” And the Lord on High did reply by saying; “Right, sorry. I tend to ramble on a bit sometimes. Anyways, they have defiled my name by worshiping Alabum- Bastic, god of Peace, Harmony, and Getting Along With Your Neighbors, and must be destroyed.”And Mishnaziel did sayeth unto God; “Is that all? You want me to slaughter an entire culture just because they choose to worship a different god?” And the Lord did say; “Um, yes.”And Mishnaziel did shake his head. “That is so lame. Are you that jealous? These people are merely exercising their free-will, which you gave them.” Thunder rolled as the most High God became pissed off, yea verily so. “The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away...”And Mishnaziel did scream from the hilltop; “What the Hell does that even mean!? And what has it got to do with what we were just talking about!? You’re always speaking in riddles!” “SILENCE!” the Lord God commanded His servant, throwing a little temper tantrum as He often did. “POO-POO HEAD! THOU’RT JUST A POOPY-FACE, MISHNAZIEL! JUST DO WHAT I SAY OR I’VE GOT A BOLT OF LIGHTNING WITH THY NAME ON IT!”And so Mishnaziel did go down into the valley, and truly he did kill every living thing that dwelt there. And the blood flowed from that valley like the mighty river Tigris. And the Lord was pleased. And the Lord said unto Mishnaziel; “Truly thou art not a poopy-face. I’m sorry I called you that...” “And the moral of the story, brother and sisters?” Joe surmised, flailing his arms about flamboyantly. “Give me your money! Give me all of your money that I might spread the LOVE of JESUS! Can you feel it, dear brothers and sisters? Can you feel the power of the Holy Spirit tugging at your wallets, telling you; ‘Give all your money to Rev. Joe. He takes cash, credit cards, debit cards, travellers checks, Hell, he’ll even take jewelry!’” “He makes a convincing case,” Fred whispered to the others. “What a wonderful man. I only wish I had something to give...”
|
Lost Soldier
11/14/2004 6:46:01 AM
Linking Enabled
Extending Enabled
24948630 episodes viewed since 9/30/2002 1:22:06 PM.