Meet Hank
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 46808
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But before Astra could launch her murderous campaign of impulsive
violence against super pants thief Namu-Namu, and most likely Billingsely
as well, a mysterious creature joined them in the clearing. This
particular creature was the incarnation of living peoples’ anger, and
it’s name was Hank. It’s body was a blasphemous fusion - looking like a
cobra twisted into the form of a jaguar - but it seemed hollow, as if it
was more of an animate suit of armor than a living creature. It had two
wings that appeared to be warps in space, not actual physical wings.
Skulls floated around it, seeming strangely alive. It looked at the three
of them and shrugged. “What’s up?” “Whoa,” was all Astra could get out. That seemed to sum up the mood for all of them at the moment. “You summoned me?” the creature politely inquired.The three stupefied humans shook their heads in unison. The creature rolled it’s eyes and sighed. “Uh, ya you did.” It extended a claw toward the princess. “You’re wearing the enchanted armour of Abu-Hala-Bala-Ha-Baha- La-Hal-Bal-Ba-Haha-Ba-Hala-Ha. You invoked the anger of ultimate bitchiness, which summons me from beyond the veil of reality. I’m actually a living incarnation of your anger, it’s what gives me strength.”“Wow,” Astra said after a stunned silence. “Does my anger really look like that?” The creature nodded. “You must be pretty pissed.”“Good God, Astra,” Bob howled. “You’ve got some real emotional issues.” He wasn't quite sure if he loved her more or less for this. “I know, this white bitch is like all stupid- crazy,”Namu-Namu chimed in. “SHUT UP!” Astra roared. “BOTH OF YOU!” She turned to the creature. “Uh...you, I command you to kill them!”The creature looked offended and electricity crackled around it’s body in annoyance.“My name’s Hank...” “Whatever.”“Well I’m not killing them, you friggin’ psycho-bitch,” Hank refused. Astra was aghast! “What!?” she reeled. “I command you to kill them! You are the very essence of my anger - so do it! Right now! DO IT!”“I said I’m the incarnation of your anger, not your slave to do your dirty work,” Hank corrected her. “You really do got some issues, girl. I think you need some counseling or something. Most of the time I take the form of like...an angry hippo or something when I manifest peoples’ anger. But I mean...” he paused to regard the skulls floating around him “...This shit is like crazy weird.” Astra spat and turned to walk away. “Look! I don’t have time for this petty bullshit! My brother and this other dude are in extreme peril right now, and I’ve got to save them!” And with that, she struck off on her own.The boy, the criminal, and the creature from beyond exchanged knowing glances, all of them thinking the same thing - what a bitch. Boy is she ever! As our saga continues, we follow...
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Lost Soldier
11/11/2004 9:19:22 AM
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