I...Man

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 44016

During that long moonlit night Fred slowly reverted back to being a man. By the dawn's early light Fred was back to being... Fred. He was very glad indeed to not be a woman, but he was sorely vexed at having not received what had been promised: wine, women, and riches! He was also very, very vexed at having lost the dragon-killing spell whilst he had run pell-mell across the sands.

Though Fred's dreary thoughts could've gone on for another three hours, they were interrupted by a scream. It was coming from the red-rimmed mouth of one of the brunettes. Fred looked about for what might be alarming such a beautiful (if nasally-challenged) woman, but he saw no monster, no ogre, no swivel nor Canadian. That's when he heard more cries as more girls and women were awakening, and he began to notice that they were all pointing in his direction.

Fred's mind was slow, keep in mind he had been a woman only hours earlier, and keep in mind his sleep was fitful at best, and keep in mind that images of his greatgrandmother, the Grand Dame of Montfort, kept harassing him in his dreams: "You should've known better you good-for- nothing swill! Mage-work will warp you every time! Magick is for idiots, morons, and eunichs... keep away from it you buffoon!"

Suddenly a large woman wearing a soft cotton skirt and blouse held together by straps of leather burst into the upper room. "Wha's all dis screamin'?" she yelled. Then her eyes saw Fred. They dilated to an extraordinary size, they turned maroon in color, they dwindled in size until they seemed like pinpoints of pure hatred. And then she yelled: "A MAN!"

Fred had no clue where in the world he was, since dipping down in that underwater current within the Shreken and awaking on the sandbar, even after running for hours only to find this strange town of Grgle and getting a bed in the WMCA (Women's Monetary and soCial Association; and learning that it had to be C and not S because WMSA was a vulgar curse word in this region of the world), he still had no idea where the Shreken now lay, nor even his beloved homeland of Allaria. But though Fred knew not where he was, he knew that he had to get out of there and quick.

  1. Fred looked at the nearest rectangular window and made for it...

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5/10/2005 12:51:25 PM

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