Lots Has Some Well Deserved R&R

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 43326

But then the all-powerful force of denial kicked in, the force that had seen him through so many years of his life, and he relaxed. Unfortunately, that’s when he realized there was still a hole in his raft. Hmmmm. “There is no hole in the raft,” he denied. Sure enough, the hole disappeared. “Ahhh, sweet, sacred denial.”

The day porgressed under a scorching sun. Lots passed the time by clutching his genitals until the sun sank below the horizon to make it’s nightly battle against the minions of darkness in the underworld. “Another day older and deeper in debt,” Lots reflected. He appropriately downed the bottle of wine at this point.


The following morning...

Lots awoke to the annoying cries of seagulls and other seabirds. Hope was rekindled in heart; where there were birds, there was usually land. Gazing out to the horizon, he could make out the vague shape of a large landmass through the haze. “Land ho!” he cheered. “And where there’s land, there’s always a ho!” Indeed.

Hours later, the raft had drifted even closer to the shoreline. But against the horizon the dark, looming clouds of an obvious storm were gathering. Lots went over his options...

  1. He could clutch his genitals and then attempt swimming to shore.
  2. Or he could clutch his genitals and hope for the best while remaining on the raft.
  3. There is no option 3.
  4. There is no option 4.
  5. There might be a fifth option, but it's doubtful.
  6. Option 6 involves some prayer to Satan and some violin playing, but it isn't recommended.
  7. Option 7 looks promising, but it's a wild card.
  8. Option 8 is actually option 9.
  9. Option 9 is actually option 1.
  10. Option 10 speaks for itself.

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7/12/2004 11:35:27 PM

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