“Okay, I don’t know how many I times I have to explain this to you
idiots, but I am me,” Fred explained in his typical condescending
fashion. “It’s not that hard of a concept to grasp. You are
sitting in front of your computer doing God knows what (probably grasping
something hard, and I don't mean a concept. Yes, I can speak in
parenthesis. It took years of training). I am in an
old man’s bathroom while he does his business. And whoever the author of
the last few previous episodes is, I don’t what language you are writing
in - but it isn’t English. It’s a valiant effort on your part, don’t get
me wrong, but I hope that it isn’t your first language. Or your second.
Or third, at that. In fact, I think perhaps you should abandon English
altogether and try to tackle another language...like French...or Chinese
“And another thing,” the old man chimed in, “I didn’t think the convenience of a modern toilet was available in the dark ages. I mean, I’m assuming we’re in the dark ages, right? You’re a warrior on a quest to slay the dragon, right? Wait, I don’t suppose Lots42 is authoring part of this thread, is he?”Fred threw up his arms in frustration. “The bloody toilet is the least of my concerns!And for Christ’s sake, man, give me a courtesy flush or something! Did something crawl up your ass and die!?”
The old man blushed. “Actually...well, I just won’t comment on that one. But fear not, for I am finished. Could you please pass the toilet paper?”“No,” Fred refused, crossing his arms and planting his feet firmly on the tiled bathroom floor. “I will not. This whole situation is getting completely out of hand. I demand a word with the author of this episode! This instant! Right now!”
What’s up, Fred?
“@!%* you! That’s what’s up!”Now, now, Fred. There’s no need to be like that. I can understand your frustration but nothing constructive is going to be achieved by name calling. What can I do for you?
“Well, for one thing...you could get me the hell out of here! I demand a new storyline! I’m not picky! Anything is better than this!”Hmmm, how about we just start back at the beginning? Yes, I think that’s best.
“FINE!”Fine. Good luck. Maybe you should, I dunno, go right this time.
7/2/2004 10:45:37 PM
The Never Ending Quest Home
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